A few weeks back, Lysa TerKeurst was the guest on our radio program and suggested that our emotions ought to be indicators, not dictators. Our feelings can help us discern what’s happening in and around us, but we don’t have to allow them to determine our behavior.
That’s true in conflict with a friend or a co-worker, and it’s true in marriage.
Lysa is on our broadcast again today and tomorrow, this time with her husband, Art. Together, they’ll expand on the ideas we discussed in our last conversation and apply them specifically to marriage.
The presence or absence of conflict isn’t what ultimately determines whether or not we have good marriages. Strong relationships are built on effective communication and handling conflict in productive and healthy ways.
The trick is not allowing your emotion to get in the way. Every disagreement has two sides. If you can keep your cool, you can not only share your opinion but listen to your spouse without getting defensive or having to “win the argument.” The choice in most conflicts is to either prove that you’re right or to improve your relationship. You can’t do both at the same time.
I think you’ll enjoy my conversation with Art and Lysa TerKeurst and will walk away with practical tools for better navigating disagreements in your marriage. Art and Lysa will discuss the underlying emotions that feed conflict and share how they minimize their own disagreements by being a “three-things” spouse – that is, focusing on each other’s three most important needs and striving each day to meet them.
I hope you and your spouse will join me for “Managing Emotions in Your Marriage” on your local radio station, online, or on our free phone app. Lysa’s book Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions is available in our online bookstore.