How Can Parents Help Their Children After Divorce?

4

Earlier this week we aired a broadcast dealing with a difficult and sensitive issue: how can a man and woman who are divorced co-parent their children successfully?

It can be a challenging issue to navigate. We know God’s heart is for marriage and divorce is outside His intent. That’s why we encourage couples in crisis to do everything they can to work out differences through prayer, counseling and community support.

However, the reality remains that sometimes, divorce happens. It may have occurred before someone came to Christ. There are also biblical grounds for divorce – and although God can certainly heal a marriage after infidelity, sometimes the decision is made to dissolve the union. And sadly, sometimes selfishness, pain or anger causes some Christians to divorce for reasons outside of God’s boundaries because they see it as the best option.

And so the children remain – and it’s now the responsibility of two people who, for whatever reason, decided they couldn’t stay married to somehow work together to take care of and raise their kids.

As you can imagine, these families need our help and support. Our role at Focus on the Family is to come alongside them and give them practical tips on how to manage a difficult situation in a way that keeps the children’s best interests in mind.

I wish my parents had received support like that. You see, my mom and dad split when I was 5. My brothers and sisters and I lived through some painful times as a result, so my heart goes out to these families. I know what it’s like. I saw my parents succumb to many of the temptations divorced couples face, such as putting their children in the middle of grown-up situations and disagreements.

It’s not an easy road – but it’s a road that can be walked well. That’s the core message of our two-part broadcast: there is hope. By making a decision to put the kids first, divorced parents can raise their children in a loving environment despite the challenging circumstances.

Our guests, counselors Ron Deal and Tammy Daughtry, provide insight to formerly married parents who want to give their kids a sense of stability. It’s a conversation that will be of much help and encouragement to anyone in this situation, so please help us share the broadcast “Co-Parenting: Helping Your Child Thrive After Divorce.” You can listen to Part I and Part II on our website. You can also access “Helping Children Heal After Divorce,” our resources page on the topic.

 

 

Sign up for my weekly e-newsletter

Leave a Comment

Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I am currently going through a divorce. I'm the one who filed. I am overwhelmed with being the one who gave up. I was tired of always being in the wrong, and all the fussing. I am a Christian but I feel as though God has left me because of this. Will He still love me anyway? 
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Absolutely!!  God knew every choice you'd make in your lifetime, good & bad and he still chose to give his son for YOU! (Jn 3:16) His thoughts toward you outnumber the sand (Ps 139:18) and he is madly, deeply in love with you forever & ever!
Romans 8:38 "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."
I will encourage you in these moments of feeling like God doesn't love you to focus on the TRUTH in scripture!The enemy would like for you to believe his lies, but you need to take every thought captive (2 Cor10:5) and obey Phil 4:8 "...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

Leslie Bott More than 1 year ago

--I too feel your pain.  After leaving an abusive marriage with my son, I raised him alone.  I sacrificed my dreams of a career traveling the world to provide my son with a stable and loving home and I do not regret it.  His father (career US Navy) was in the picture, but only at his convenience.  When our son reached puberty, I, of course, was the one providing discipline.  His father remained the "cool one."  Even when I reached out to his father for help in keeping Michael on the right path, he used it against me telling our son "your mother doesn't understand you"; "your mom just wants you to be a mamma's boy"; "your mom is psycho, over emotional and out of control" . . . all the things he knew a young man his age wanted to hear, instead of telling him the things he needed to hear.  His father hates me more than he loves Michael.

And now that Michael is in college, his father has finally completed his mission by inflicting the maximum punishment on me by alienating my son from me.  Except now his father, having now plunged the knife deep in my heart, is still not satisfied.  He has to twist the knife by making sure Michael keeps in contact with others in my family except me.  People who were never a part of Michael's childhood.  Oh, and  this man is a respected man of his community and graces the church doors every Sunday.  I wonder where he and his checkbook were when Michael was in Christian school.  How can people be so cruel?

I die a little every day.  I do not know if I can survive this.

Mary Andreoli More than 1 year ago

--My heartfelt appreciation to Focus on The Family in airing the subject of children in divorce. Sadly, I divorced before becoming a Christian or knowing FOF existed. My divorce was ugly, financially devastating and I was the target of parental alienation. My daughter is now 22 and I have not seen nor heard from her in 10 years. It's programs like these that can help others to not go through what I did. Many blessings to Jim Daly and all at Focus for the important work they do and painful but essential issues they bring out into the light of day.  My story did not end well, but by the grace of God and the ministry of Focus, my prayer is for other couples to walk a different path than my former husband and I did (one of selfishness, anger and bitterness) and to honor and selflessly raise their children as would please The Lord. Soli Deo gloria