Daly Focus Blog
There were a lot of guys in my high school who didn’t get along with their dads. Every day they’d complain about their fathers being strict and overbearing. And all I could do was think, “If you guys only knew how good you have it.”
At the time, I lived with my older brother Dave. He was a good brother, but he was no father figure. He didn’t set boundaries or establish any rules. And a curfew?
If an area of your life hasn’t become what you’d hoped, you need an apocalypse.
The word “apocalypse” usually brings to mind catastrophic end-of-the-world scenarios. Earthquakes, toppled buildings, destruction everywhere. But the Greek word for “apocalypse” doesn’t mean “destruction.” It means “to uncover or to reveal.”
An apocalypse is what happens in a court of law. Everything is exposed and measured against truth. There are no secrets. Nothing is off limits because it’s embarrassing … or worse yet, incriminating.
When my son Trent was assigned his first science project in fourth grade, Jean and I agreed to let him do the project all on his own. After all, the whole point was for him to learn, right?
Apparently, not every parent shared that view.
At the end of the semester, the school held an open house, so the children could show off their work. It was pretty obvious which parents had been too involved in their child’s schoolwork.
There’s no easy way for doctors to tell patients they’re going to die, but some ways are better than others. At the very least, I’m sure that you’d prefer a doctor take the time to meet with you in person, explain your condition, and answer your questions.
So, you can probably imagine what Ernest Quintana must have felt when he received bad news about his health. He was in his hospital bed anxiously awaiting his diagnosis when the door opened.
Married couples often think about conflict with each other in black and white terms. Solving problems is all or nothing – meaning every issue, no matter how small or insignificant, is argued over – or they go to the other extreme, no issue ever gets resolved, no matter how destructive it is to the relationship.
There’s a better way. Counselor and author Dr. Randy Schroeder encourages couples to view marital conflict in terms of scratches, cuts, and lacerations:
Scratches are superficial wounds caused by things like misunderstandings or thoughtless words.
“The loneliest place I’ve ever been in my life is not Afghanistan but in my own bed … with my wife’s back turned to me.”
That comment from veteran Chad Robichaux resonates with a lot of military couples who endure demands on their marriages that most civilians don’t understand.
After 9/11, Chad’s special ops unit did eight tours of duty in Afghanistan. Surviving the war-torn Middle East required good training and high levels of intense, adrenaline-fueled emotion.
Believe it or not, football and family have a lot in common. Maybe the most important similarity is this: half-hearted effort isn’t good enough. Both require you to give your all.
During my freshman year of high school, I hoped to play quarterback for our football team, but I had a lot of growing up to do. I wasn’t lazy, and I had all the physical abilities, but my broken childhood had led me to believe I wasn’t good enough.
When I think about living the Christian life, I am reminded of what Christ teaches in the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32).
The young man in the story blew his inheritance on foolish living. When he returned home, broke and humiliated, he feared that his father would disown him or, if he were merciful, hire him as a servant. Instead, his father loved him and celebrated his return, rejoicing that his lost son was now found.
When was the last time you waited for something … and were happy about it?
We often think of waiting as an obstacle, something that stands between us and whatever it is we’re anxiously anticipating. As it turns out, waiting is essential to happiness.
A Dutch study concluded that people who had a vacation to look forward to were measurably happier than people who didn’t. While that conclusion may seem obvious, it demonstrates that the anticipation leading up to an event is key to infusing that event with joy and happiness.
I recently heard a story about a college student who was upset that his professor didn’t give him the grade he felt he deserved. Instead of handling the situation himself, the student called his mother on the phone in front of the entire classroom and complained to her. Believe it or not, his mom said, “Put your professor on the phone, so I can talk to him.”
Fortunately, the professor had clear boundaries. When the young man marched to the front of the room and handed him the phone, the professor refused to take the call.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
