Create Your Forever Family: The Joys of Adoption and Foster Care

Ryan and Kayla North are co-founders of One Big Happy Home, an organization that offers practical strategies, guidance, and resources for caregivers whose adoptive children are dealing with trauma, behavior challenges and attachment issues.

Over the past 10 years, the Norths have fostered nearly 30 children. They currently have six kids – two biological and four adopted – ages 22 to 13. But foster parenting wasn’t part of the Norths’ original intent for their family. They assumed they’d follow a more traditional path. But then God called them to adoption.

Initially, Ryan and Kayla approached foster care with a “rescuer” mentality. They had a lot of love to give, they wanted to grow their family, and they wanted to help children in need. But they didn’t anticipate the inherent challenges that color many adoption and foster care stories.

The Norths encourage every Christian to ask God whether or not they have a role to play in foster care – either with the children in foster care or with the families who provide them homes.

To let you know about children in foster care and what they need most, I’ve invited Ryan and Kayla to join me on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. You might be surprised by how simple it is to get involved. Even if you don’t adopt, you can encircle and help families who do.

We discussed a variety of ways that Christians can serve:

Listen and pray. Foster/adoptive parents don’t need an army of voices who advise them on how to parent their children; they need an army of people who listen to their struggles and pray for those things.
Offer to serve. Many adoptive and foster parents are so busy meeting the needs of their kids that they struggle to take care of themselves. Offer to do laundry, cook a meal, run errands, donate school supplies, or provide them with a licensed babysitter and/or provide respite care yourself.
Educate yourself. Research trauma and its impact on children. Learn correct adoption language – for example, “birth mom” instead of “real mom,” “child in foster care” instead of “foster kid,” etc.
Become a foster/adoptive parent. This option is not for everyone, but for those who feel God tugging on your heart, trust Him to take that step and come alongside these hurting kids and families.

We may not all be called to foster, but we are all called to do something. It starts with prayer. Ask the Lord what He wants you to do. Ryan and Kayla North share lots of practical help. Hear our full conversation on your local radio station, online, on Apple Podcasts, or take us with you on our free phone app.

While you’re online, spend a few minutes exploring our Wait No More ministry. We’ll help you discover what you can do to step into the life of a foster child in the name of Christ. For instance, we have a suitcase bundle available to children in foster care, many of whom go from home to home with all of their possessions in a trash bag. These suitcases bring dignity to foster children. They include an age-appropriate Bible, a teddy bear, and a handwritten note of encouragement from our staff here at Focus. Click here for more information or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).