Daly Focus Blog
Author Melanie Shankle says each of us has dragons to face. She means life is a journey in which we continually encounter difficult situations, learn to trust God, and by His grace grow through adversity.
Sometimes the dragons we have to slay are those that rise up from our past via an unhealthy, even toxic, childhood. If this describes, you, Melanie shares your pain. Like you she grew up in a household shaped by abuse, manipulation, or alcoholism.
The late Steve Farrar believed Psalm 23 was the most dangerous Psalm in the Bible – dangerous because we know it so well that it loses its deep meaning and significance. The Psalm is only six verses long, but each one is potent and pregnant with meaning.
David, who wrote Psalm 23, could have written from the perspective of the shepherd. Instead, he wrote it from the perspective of the sheep. God’s people are called “sheep” over 200 times in the Bible.
One of the most common questions people ask is, “Where is God when we suffer?”
I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I would say this: God doesn’t abandon us in our pain; He’s with us in it.
Hardship makes us feel isolated. From God. From everyone. But we don’t have to search for God in the clouds when we feel alone. He’s right there with us wherever grace and truth are found. He’s in charity work, in shelters, and in religious communities.
German pastor, Dietrich Bonhoeffer once called praying together the heartbeat of the Christian community.
It’s true for marriage, too.
Married couples are designed for intimacy. Yet, like Adam and Eve in the garden, they often hide from God and each other. Some couples avoid intimacy because it feels safer than risking exposure and shame. But long-term, hiding has the opposite effect. Instead of feeling more loved, we feel more lost. Instead of feeling more accepted, we feel more alone.
Trust.
It’s a crucial part of the human experience because it’s the foundation of intimacy and well-being in relationships – from marriage to parenting to friendships to business partners. While trust often begins with emotion, it is more than just good feelings. It’s rooted in solid, observable qualities that assure us we can rely on someone to deliver what we need.
Trust deepens bonds and calls us to be faithful toward one another. But trusting others can be difficult because trust can be broken.
Author Aaron Sharp says every new dad is like Peter Parker, the mild-mannered character in the Marvel comic series who becomes Spider-Man. A pivotal moment in Peter’s story comes when he’s bitten by a radioactive spider, and his life changes forever. Only, he doesn’t immediately realize it.
For men, life changes in mysterious ways the first time his wife says, “We’re having a baby.” They have no idea the changes coming down the pike – which leaves many guys feeling unprepared to become a dad.
As you’ll hear on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, Paul and Melody Westbrook’s marriage suffered in ways familiar to many couples. He was a driven man who found his worth and identity in his work. He felt comfortable in a room full of people, but not alone with his wife. Time with Melody had to have a purpose, a reason to be together other than simply enjoying her presence.
Melody persevered but, as the years rolled on, Melody felt more and more ignored and unimportant, and her resentment ate away at her love for Paul.
Success isn’t always a measurement of personal achievement. It’s often determined by the influence we have on others.
The tallest mountain in the world, Mt. Everest, is named after Sir George Everest, a geographer from the 1800’s, but not because Sir George was the first to summit the mountain. That was Sir Edmund Hillary in 1953. As a matter of fact, Sir George Everest never even saw the mountain.
The man who hiked the Himalayas to officially calculate the mountain’s record-breaking height was Andrew Waugh.
How do you help a loved one who is “deconstructing”?
Authors Alisa Childers and Tim Barnett, who have researched the deconstruction movement and engaged in conversations with friends and family about it, describe deconstruction as “a postmodern process of rethinking your faith without regarding Scripture as a standard.”
The Bible itself encourages us to evaluate our understanding of truth (Acts 17:11). However, Alisa and Tim argue that “faith deconstruction” is quite different. In the mind of deconstructionists, Christianity is toxic and abusive in claiming the authority of Scripture.
Do you want your kids to be happy with their marriages, with their families, and with their careers? Of course, you do.
I want the same for my boys. But I also know that happiness can be fleeting. Life can be unpredictable and circumstances could turn their world upside-down in a heartbeat.
Which is why I hope and pray for them to find joy. Joy will see them through trials and difficulties with faith and a determination to keep their confidence in Jesus – to trust that He remains with them in and through it all.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
