Daly Focus Blog
Tyler Sexton has been an overcomer since the day he was born. So have his parents, Lisa and Kevin.
When Tyler was born at 28 weeks, doctors immediately placed him in an incubator and rushed him by helicopter to a hospital four hours away. They told Lisa and Kevin that Tyler’s lungs could collapse, and he’d die mid-flight. Tyler survived, but a long road of physical trouble, including 16 surgeries, lay ahead.
At 18 months, Tyler was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.
A few years ago, Levi Lusko experienced a midlife crisis that sent him spiraling downward.
A devoted husband, father, pastor, author and speaker, Levi was busy most days from early morning until he went to bed late at night. For nearly two decades, his ambition for more kept his candle burning at both ends. By 2020, Levi had flown a million and a half miles. When the pandemic hit, his activity and his ability to manage his emotions all came to a screeching halt.
“Do I really believe?”
That’s not always such an easy question to answer. We say we believe in all kinds of things – from God and country to values like marriage, family, and justice. But what happens when those beliefs get challenged? Do we stand passively on the sidelines and pretend we believe? Or do we get in the wheelbarrow?
That phrase, “Get in the wheelbarrow,” is a metaphor from the mid-19th century. It sprang up around a man named The Great Blondin.
When I talk to people who believe differently than I do, I often ask myself, “Am I being kind? Or am I just being nice?” There is a difference.
Nice is usually a thin veneer of kindness with nothing of substance underneath. Nice is how you act toward the barista who gets your coffee order right. Or the person waiting patiently next to you in line. Or a family member with whom you’re on good terms.
Popular author and relationship expert Dr. Gary Chapman describes conscience as a five-gallon bucket strapped to our backs. Every time we do wrong against someone, we add a measure of liquid. After a few mistakes, our burden becomes heavier. After a few more, heavier still. Eventually, our conscience becomes so full, so heavy to bear, that the contents splash out in unhelpful ways, on us and everyone around us.
In Acts 24:16, the apostle Paul says of himself: “So I always take pains to have a clear conscience toward both God and man.” The phrase “take pains” can also be translated as “strive,” “train,” or “exercise.” In other words, Paul says, “I discipline myself.” To do what?
Words have power. They express profound truth. Or they strip truth of all meaning. Let me give you just two examples.
The first involves a Washington lobbyist who spoke about the Constitution of the United States to a national audience. She described our founding document as quote “that little piece of paper.” You’d think she was referring to a sticky note on the president’s desk instead of one of the most consequential and enduring documents in history.
Technology is making life more and more convenient, but it’s also making the pace of life faster and faster. I don’t believe it’s God’s plan for us to be running full speed all the time. We need rest. Even Jesus took time to rest. He withdrew to quiet places (Matthew 14:13) and communed with His Father.
We should do the same. But how? How do we slow down and enjoy God, our families, and our daily lives more.
I have incredible memories of spending time with my boys when they were growing up – from fun in the backyard to camping trips in Yellowstone National Park. Many of our interactions were meaningful conversations about God, the Bible, and deep issues of life. But a lot of our connections were focused on play.
Playtime is an important time of development and learning for small kids especially. It grows their coordination, their physical and cognitive development, and their problem-solving skills.
Many moms and dads are black-and-white in their parenting approach – like a light switch, all one way or all the other. What kids really need, though, is balance – like a dimmer switch, a range of responses that meet your kids at the point of their need.
Take responsibility and affirmation, for example. Some parents flick the switch toward the side of teaching responsibility where the entire focus is on things like being on time, making good grades, or getting chores done.
I’d like to share the opening entry to my marriage devotional The Healthy Marriage Devotional: 365 Daily Inspirations to Bring You Closer Together:
Author Gary Smalley has officiated a lot of weddings. He uses an unique illustration to help couples understand the nature of their relationship.
Midway through the ceremony, he’d gesture to the beautiful flowers adorning the ceremony and say to the couple, “You probably believe the garland, the boutonnieres, and the bridal bouquet represent your love – vibrant and in full bloom.” Then he’d reach into his pocket and hand the bride and groom a packet of seeds.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
