Daly Focus Blog
What “season” of intimacy is it for your marriage? Is it summer because things between you and your spouse are sizzling? Or has winter settled in where your relationship feels a bit chilly?
Weather is a helpful metaphor for marriage because, like the weather, relationships change. Yes, that means a season of warmth and excitement can become cold and mundane. But it also means a relationship that feels icy and distant can become a season of new beginnings and growth.
Mom and dad, what are you doing to help your children develop maturity? It’s a question worth answering because children don’t develop maturity on their own. They have to be taught.
To that end, my wife and I enrolled our boys, Trent and Troy, in something called Cotillion. It’s all about teaching manners and preparing kids to interact with others as mature young men and women. The boys were apprehensive, but I assured them, “Don’t worry, guys.
One of the most popular questions we get here at Focus on the Family is, “How do I pass my values on to my children?”
First and foremost is you, mom and dad. Your presence is the most important influence in your kids’ lives. They’re watching you. Everything you say and do makes a profound impression on what your children say and do. Model the values you hope your children will adopt as their own. If you want them to be loving, then be loving.
Technology continues to make incredible, often unimaginable, strides. Much of it is well-intended. Communication technology and social media have transformed life, connecting us with people anywhere in the world. And, yet, according to the U.S. Surgeon General, loneliness is an epidemic. Half of all adults feel significantly isolated.
How can the most connected generation in history suffer from isolation? Because God has wired us for face to face, heart to heart connection that nothing digital can replicate.
As the saying goes, “Laughter is good for the soul.” It’s good for your soul as a parent as well.
Studies show that families who laugh are healthier, happier and more connected to each other. Even little giggles between you and your family play a meaningful part in creating bonds that you’ll share forever.
Laughter is a powerful connector. In fact, at its heart, laughter is mostly about connection, only partially about humor. We laugh more when we’re with other people than when we’re alone.
Over the years, loving my wife has most often expressed itself in small ways. Like when our boys were young and full of energy. Some nights I’d come home after a long, busy day at work, and Jean would meet me at the door with Trent and Troy – 5 and 3 years old at the time – and say, “Take them.”
Jean and I were both desperate for a recharge after a long day, but in that moment, there was only room for one of us to take a breather.
It’s been over 50 years since my mom died. All I have are a handful of photographs. I don’t have audio recordings or home movies of her, unfortunately, so I don’t remember the sound of her voice anymore. But I do recall many of the things mom said to me – things that positively influenced my direction through life and shaped the man I’ve become. I’d like to share a few of them with you.
First she’d tell me, “It’ll be okay.” Life wasn’t easy for my mom, but somehow she always saw the glass as half-full.
You’d think I’d have marriage down pat by now. My wife, Jean, and I have been married almost 40 years. I’ve also spent the majority of my career leading an organization that helps families thrive. Nevertheless, while I believe I’m becoming all that God desires of me, I’ll always be an imperfect work in progress.
But I guess that’s true of all of us. Whether you’ve been married as long as me or you’re a newlywed, all of us can take small steps and grow as a husbands and wives.
The empty nest years can be a “tight ring season.”
That’s a term coined by Marci Seither and her husband after a customer hired the Seithers’ sawmill in Northern California to remove a huge tree from the spot where their new home would be built. Feeling it a shame to lose such a beautiful tree, the homeowners planned to recycle the lumber by using it in the house’s construction.
But once they cut down the tree, they discovered the wood was too weak to use.
Everyone is chasing significance of some kind:
Achievement.
Recognition.
Wealth.
Power.
Popularity.
Success.
But when “the chase” takes center stage, the busyness and focus required can leave us with no energy to offer our most important relationships.
How can we prioritize our marriage and family in light of all the responsibilities that demand our attention each day?
Authors Josh and Christi Straub are answering that question on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. They believe couples can transform their relationship by becoming the president of their spouse’s “fan club.” That means focusing on what matters, championing their strengths, and encouraging them to become the best version of themselves – that is, who God designed them to be.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
