Parenting Like a Dimmer Switch

Many moms and dads are black-and-white in their parenting approach – like a light switch, all one way or all the other. What kids really need, though, is balance – like a dimmer switch, a range of responses that meet your kids at the point of their need.

Take responsibility and affirmation, for example. Some parents flick the switch toward the side of teaching responsibility where the entire focus is on things like being on time, making good grades, or getting chores done. The demands are high and rarely balanced with good doses of affirmation. The rules are priority.

Some parents flick the switch the other way. They lavish affirmation on their children, but they require nothing. The goal becomes making their children happy all of the time. Unfortunately, this approach gives the child the idea that they can have and do anything they want but bear no responsibility to consider other people’s needs and interests.

Effective parenting isn’t about black-and-white thinking. It’s about balance. Without affirmation, kids get discouraged. But they also need someone who will put their foot down and say, “This is right, and this is wrong.” The best approach to parenting is to become a dimmer switch, grace and truth blended together.