Exposing the Realities of Teen Dating Abuse

The data is disturbing: one in three girls in the U.S. are victims of physical, emotional, or verbal abuse in their dating relationships.

Author Dee Dee Said survived an abusive relationship in high school. She was a happy teenager – she got good grades, hung out with friends, and played tennis for her school – but she had a deep desire to have a boyfriend. So, Dee Dee got excited when a boy she calls “Brock” asked her on a date.

From the start, Brock maintained a charming appearance in public but exhibited signs of abuse in private: isolation, jealousy, control, and increasingly physical aggression including violence. He even followed Dee Dee to tennis practice one day to “check on her.” While he claimed he was watching out for her, he was actually exerting control in case she was flirting.

Dee Dee’s friends and family knew something was off, but she kept the abuse hidden. Instead of feeling alarmed by his jealousy, she was flattered. Only later did she realize that she had been misinterpreting his control as genuine concern for her.

Unfortunately, it got worse from there. Much worse.

Dee Dee Said is joining me on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly to share her journey through abuse and to offer advice for helping your teen or young adult avoid unhealthy dating relationships.

This program isn’t graphic, but it’s probably not suitable for younger children, so please use your discretion and occupy your kids elsewhere, or listen later on your local radio station, online, on Apple Podcasts, or on our free phone app.

Dee Dee shares how to set your children up for healthy dating, including:

• Showing them God’s love.

• Encouraging them in healthy activities.

• Discussing the nature of their relationships.

• Understanding “healthy” and “unhealthy” dating behavior.

She also shares how God’s overwhelming love and grace redeemed her after so many years of heartache and shame. Today, she feels free of an abusive past that no longer defines her.

If you or someone you love is in an unsafe situation – whether that’s a dating relationship or a marriage – we encourage you to get help now. Talk to someone – a parent, a pastor, or a trusted friend. Or speak with one of our counselors here at Focus on the Family. They’ll pray with you, talk with you, and get you on a path toward healing and hope. They’ll also direct you to additional resources in your area if necessary. Call us, leave your name and number, and we’ll get back with you as soon as possible. The number during business hours is 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).

Dee Dee Said’s book It Doesn’t Start with a Punch: My Journey through an Abusive Teen Dating Relationship is available for a gift of any amount. For more information, click here or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).