Daly Focus Blog
Over the years, loving my wife has most often expressed itself in small ways. Like when our boys were young and full of energy. Some nights I’d come home after a long, busy day at work, and Jean would meet me at the door with Trent and Troy – 5 and 3 years old at the time – and say, “Take them.”
Jean and I were both desperate for a recharge after a long day, but in that moment, there was only room for one of us to take a breather.
It’s been over 50 years since my mom died. All I have are a handful of photographs. I don’t have audio recordings or home movies of her, unfortunately, so I don’t remember the sound of her voice anymore. But I do recall many of the things mom said to me – things that positively influenced my direction through life and shaped the man I’ve become. I’d like to share a few of them with you.
First she’d tell me, “It’ll be okay.” Life wasn’t easy for my mom, but somehow she always saw the glass as half-full.
You’d think I’d have marriage down pat by now. My wife, Jean, and I have been married almost 40 years. I’ve also spent the majority of my career leading an organization that helps families thrive. Nevertheless, while I believe I’m becoming all that God desires of me, I’ll always be an imperfect work in progress.
But I guess that’s true of all of us. Whether you’ve been married as long as me or you’re a newlywed, all of us can take small steps and grow as a husbands and wives.
The empty nest years can be a “tight ring season.”
That’s a term coined by Marci Seither and her husband after a customer hired the Seithers’ sawmill in Northern California to remove a huge tree from the spot where their new home would be built. Feeling it a shame to lose such a beautiful tree, the homeowners planned to recycle the lumber by using it in the house’s construction.
But once they cut down the tree, they discovered the wood was too weak to use.
Everyone is chasing significance of some kind:
Achievement.
Recognition.
Wealth.
Power.
Popularity.
Success.
But when “the chase” takes center stage, the busyness and focus required can leave us with no energy to offer our most important relationships.
How can we prioritize our marriage and family in light of all the responsibilities that demand our attention each day?
Authors Josh and Christi Straub are answering that question on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. They believe couples can transform their relationship by becoming the president of their spouse’s “fan club.” That means focusing on what matters, championing their strengths, and encouraging them to become the best version of themselves – that is, who God designed them to be.
Many parents feel anxious about the growing number of negative cultural influences that reduce the possibility that this generation will base their lives in the Christian faith. According to statistics, 45-48% of children today leave church after college and never return. Many disconnect from their faith even earlier.
This poses a significant challenge for parents. While it’s wise to monitor your children’s exposure to music, videos, and social media, they also need to learn discernment. Most situations are a mixture of good and bad.
Author Melanie Shankle says each of us has dragons to face. She means life is a journey in which we continually encounter difficult situations, learn to trust God, and by His grace grow through adversity.
Sometimes the dragons we have to slay are those that rise up from our past via an unhealthy, even toxic, childhood. If this describes, you, Melanie shares your pain. Like you she grew up in a household shaped by abuse, manipulation, or alcoholism.
The late Steve Farrar believed Psalm 23 was the most dangerous Psalm in the Bible – dangerous because we know it so well that it loses its deep meaning and significance. The Psalm is only six verses long, but each one is potent and pregnant with meaning.
David, who wrote Psalm 23, could have written from the perspective of the shepherd. Instead, he wrote it from the perspective of the sheep. God’s people are called “sheep” over 200 times in the Bible.
One of the most common questions people ask is, “Where is God when we suffer?”
I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I would say this: God doesn’t abandon us in our pain; He’s with us in it.
Hardship makes us feel isolated. From God. From everyone. But we don’t have to search for God in the clouds when we feel alone. He’s right there with us wherever grace and truth are found. He’s in charity work, in shelters, and in religious communities.
German pastor, Dietrich Bonhoeffer once called praying together the heartbeat of the Christian community.
It’s true for marriage, too.
Married couples are designed for intimacy. Yet, like Adam and Eve in the garden, they often hide from God and each other. Some couples avoid intimacy because it feels safer than risking exposure and shame. But long-term, hiding has the opposite effect. Instead of feeling more loved, we feel more lost. Instead of feeling more accepted, we feel more alone.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
