Parenting Teens to Adulthood

At what age do children become adults, 16, 18, 21? Answers among parents likely vary widely.

Psychologist, author, and expert in adolescent and family relationships, Dr. Ken Wilgus, says adulthood isn’t a moment in time as much as a process of growth that he calls “Progressive Emancipation,” which he describes as “marshaling an orderly retreat out of your teenagers’ lives.” In other words, parents should deliberately work their way out of their parental responsibilities by the time their child leaves home.

How? The process begins by considering your teenagers adults in training. Teens, Dr. Wilgus says, are not big children; they are young adults. Although childhood comes to its natural end around age 13, your job as a parent is not over. It shifts from teaching to training.

That’s an important concept to embrace because the world can be a harsh place, and parents can ill afford to produce weak-willed adults who don’t know what’s right or who lack the courage to live it out. They need to be ready, and we need to prepare them.

On Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, I’m sharing a talk by Dr. Ken Wilgus recorded at a parents event in Phoenix, Arizona, in which he explains how “progressive emancipation” works and how it can make parenting your teenagers smoother and more pleasant.

After Dr. Ken’s presentation, stay tuned for a question-and-answer session with the audience emceed by Pastor Dustin Tappan of Christ’s Church of the Valley.

Tune in on your local radio station, online, on Apple Podcasts, or take us with you on our free phone app.

While you’re online, take a few moments to take our free parenting assessment. It will quickly give you an overview of how your family is doing in several key areas. It also offers suggestions for improving the relationships in your home.

I invite you to become a special partner with us through our monthly “Friends of Focus on the Family” program. When you do, I’ll send you a copy of Dr. Ken Wilgus’ book Feeding the Mouth That Bites You: A Complete Guide to Parenting Adolescents and Launching Them into the World as a way of saying thank you for touching others with the love of Christ. You’ll also receive member-exclusive benefits. To make your pledge, or for more information, click here. Or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).