Forming New Habits for Your Marriage

The stress of daily life takes a toll on even the happiest couples – which is why marriage and family counselor Dr. Randy Schroeder says seeking marital happiness is unrealistic. A better approach is to pursue consistent marital satisfaction. How? Good habits.

Dr. Schroeder offers four “daily essentials” for creating good habits in your marriage:

“Goodbye, I love you.” Whoever leaves the house first should initiate this.
“Goodnight, I love you.” Whoever goes to bed first should initiate this.
First five minutes. Each morning, set a positive atmosphere for your relationship by being kind and pleasant to each other first thing. When the first five minutes are positive, the remainder of your day will more likely be positive.
“Two within twenty.” Connect in a meaningful way for two minutes within 20 minutes of reuniting at the end of the day. This is not an opportunity to vent your stress onto each other. Instead, focus your attention on your spouse and give him or her a meaningful kiss and hug.

For more great tips about developing good habits in your marriage, join me for a conversation with Dr. Randy Schroeder on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Listen on your local radio station, online, on Apple Podcasts, or take us with you on our free phone app.

While you’re online, why not take a few moments to try our free Marriage Assessment online tool? It will help you quickly determine what’s working well in your relationship and identify areas where you may need some improvement.

If your marriage could use some extra guidance, we have caring Christian counselors on staff, and it would be their privilege to offer you a free consultation. Call us, leave your name and number, and they’ll get back with you just as soon as possible. The number during business hours is 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).

Before I close, I invite you to become a special partner with us through our monthly “Friends of Focus on the Family” program. When you do, I’ll send you a copy of Dr. Schroeder’s book Simple Habits for Marital Happiness: Practical Skills and Tools That Build a Strong Satisfying Relationship as a way of saying thank you for touching others with the love of Christ. You’ll also receive member-exclusive benefits. To make your pledge, or for more information, click here.