Karen Kain is one of the most respected ballet dancers in the world. She gave over 10,000 performances in her career. Somebody once asked her if age was the dancer’s worst enemy. Karen answered, “Sometimes. But sometimes the dancer’s worst enemy is themselves. They get in their own way.”
Karen’s response gets to the heart of dance. It’s the art of movement. It’s all about placing your feet, your hands, and your arms in the right spots at the right times and moving in concert with the music and your partner. Every step forward is at risk of becoming a mistake. Your partner could step on your toes, or you could step on theirs.
The solution is for each dancer to recognize that the only movement they can control is their own. Each dancer has to focus on their own steps, not on their partner’s – at least, not to the same degree.
That’s great advice for dancers, and it’s great advice for married couples, too. In its own way, marriage is the art of movement, too. Relationships are fluid. They change over time because couples change over time.
In the beginning, it’s fun and easy to move to the music. But as life unfolds and the tempo gets faster, it can become harder to dance together. Your dance steps get out of sync, and every step forward is at risk of becoming a mistake. Your partner could step on your toes, or you could step on theirs.
The solution is to recognize that the only movement you can control is your own. You’ll discover the marriage you dream about as you learn to focus on your own steps and to strive to be the best dancer possible.
On our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Never Stop Looking Up in Your Marriage,” we’re talking with Dave and Ann Wilson, a couple who have stepped on each other’s toes plenty of times. But in Christ they’ve found a new rhythm with each other and learned to focus on their own steps.
It is possible for you to have a joyful, healthy, and God-honoring marriage. Find out how on your local radio station, online, on iTunes, via Podcast, or on our free phone app, or watch the full program on our YouTube channel.
Dave and Ann’s book is called Vertical Marriage: The One Secret That Will Change Your Marriage. I’d like to put this resource into your hands for a gift of any amount. Give us a call at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459) or visit our website for more information. Thank you for your support.
And if your marriage is troubled, consider attending one of our Hope Restored marriage intensives. We’re proud of this program. It’s spiritual and marital boot camp. And it works. If you’re on the brink of divorce, these marriage intensives can go a long way toward restoring your hope, facilitating healing between you and your spouse, and bringing restoration to your relationship. The number for Hope Restored is 1-866-875-2915, or visit online.
Dave and Ann Wilson are co-founders and teaching pastors at Kensington Community Church, a national multi-campus church based in Michigan. They’ve been married for 39 years.