Practical Tips to Transform Your Marriage

I encourage couples to think of their marriage as a business. I know that sounds rather sterile, but it’s more romantic than you think.

Successful businesses don’t leave success to chance. They set goals and execute plans to move forward and create results. In the same way, you can be purposeful about moving your relationship in the right direction and building a strong marriage. Values like commitment, sacrifice, and unconditional love are practical ideas that can transform a marriage.

There are others. I’m talking about them with Jason and Tori Benham, relationship coaches, authors, and hosts of a podcast called Beauty in Battle. You may remember that Jason and his brother, David, were expected to be the next stars of HGTV, the cable channel that featured Chip and Joanna Gaines’ show, Fixer Upper. However, five weeks into a 10-week shoot – and just months away from airing the first episode – David and Jason were fired by HGTV executives. Activist organizations had begun confronting the channel and targeting advertisers because the Benham brothers were unabashedly vocal about social issues related to marriage and pro-life values.

When Jason was tempted to give in to pressure, it was Tori who encouraged him to remain a godly warrior. She praised him for his courage and constantly reminded him of her love.

Hear their inspiring story on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly and learn simple ideas for strengthening your marriage, including the LEARN method, an acronym Jason and Tori use as a model for viewing conflict as an opportunity for connection instead of division:

Listen: Seek to understand before trying to be understood.
Empathize: Instead of shared experience, seek shared emotion.
Ask: Ask questions like, “What do you need most right now?”
Responsibility: Own your part of the problem.
Never: Don’t undervalue what your spouse says or feels.

Hear our full conversation on your local radio station, online, on Apple Podcasts, or listen on our free phone app.

My discussion with Jason and Tori will be something of a “tune up” for couples who are doing well but who want to take their relationship to the next level. If you are experiencing more serious issues in your marriage, we have caring, Christian counselors who will listen, pray with you, and get you on a path toward healing and hope. They’ll also direct you to additional resources in your area if necessary. Call us, leave your name and number, and we’ll get back with you as soon as possible. The number during business hours is 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).

Jason and Tori Benham’s book Marriage A to Z: 30 Days to Relational Transformation is available through our ministry for a gift of any amount. Click here for more information.

And when you help Focus on the Family today with a gift, your donation will be DOUBLED for twice the impact in helping others through this ministry. Our thanks to generous donors who’ve made that possible.