Becoming Teammates in Your Marriage

Dr. Josh Straub says, “Communication in marriage is overrated.”

What he means is that most couples believe the root of conflict is what they’re communicating about – money, sex, chores, stress, parenting styles, etc. Dr. Straub says conflict is about a couple’s “meta-communication” – that is, how they communicate with each other: their tone of voice and their attitude toward each other.

That’s why couples often can’t remember what they fight about, but they do remember feeling angry, hurt, abandoned, or betrayed after their conflict.

Dr. Josh Straub and his wife, Christi, are on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly to share how couples can work on solutions to their conflict together by getting on the same team.

Dr. Josh and Christi Straub are speakers, authors, and marriage and leadership coaches. Together, they lead Famous at Home, where they equip leaders, organizations, military families, and churches in emotional intelligence and family wellness

Couples in conflict often see their spouse as an opponent instead of as an ally. The Straubs say that the only way to overcome the inevitable problems within marriage is to see conflict itself as your opponent and learn to work as a team.

Without that, married couples often develop a “dance” or cycle of repetitive behavior where they trigger each other and begin to escalate their emotional reactions to each other. It’s like a conflict loop inside of which they get stuck – “He doesn’t care about how I feel,” “She did that on purpose,” or “I’m too busy to deal with this right now,” and so on. Learning to identify those lies and replacing them with godly truth will transform everything about your relationship.

You cannot change your spouse; you can only change your own attitude and behavior. The Straubs will tell you how. My lovely wife Jean and I conducted this interview with the Straubs before a live audience. I believe their message will help you become better teammates in your marriage

Listen to our full conversation on your local radio station, online, on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, via Google Podcasts, or listen on our free phone app.

Josh and Christi’s book Famous At Home: 7 Decision to Put Your Family Center Stage in a World Competing for Your Time, Attention, and Identity is available for a gift of any amount. Click here for details or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).

And while you’re online, why not take a few moments to try our free Marriage Assessment online tool? It will help you quickly determine what’s working well in your relationship and identify areas where you may need some improvement.