Helping Your Child Deal with Bullies

Daniel was 13 years old when he wrote a letter to his parents that he had a “great life.” A few weeks later, he was dead.

According to his letter, Daniel’s “great life” spiraled out of control right after he started junior high. Five classmates bullied him incessantly. And when Daniel tried to defend himself, fights broke out.

Daniel wrote that he had “begged and pleaded” with his teachers and the school’s principal to intervene, but they “didn’t do ANYTHING!” The school denied any wrongdoing, but the bullying didn’t stop until, sadly, Daniel ended his own life.

Daniel’s story is tragic, but there is a lesson for the rest of us that we can’t overlook. When children say they’re being bullied, we must listen and take action on their behalf.

According to some estimates 160,000 children on any given weekday will stay home from school because they’re being bullied. Many of these kids are so traumatized by the way they’re being treated that they suffer from a litany of physical and psychological responses.

I’m familiar with that level of fear. I still remember the bully who was after me when I was in third grade. My ability to outrun him was the only thing that protected me. And my sister Kim. When she heard about my bully, she hid behind the bushes along my path home, then jumped out at him and warned him, “Don’t bother my brother anymore.” He didn’t.

Every bullied child needs an advocate in their corner like I had. After Daniel’s death, his mom told the media, “My son shouldn’t have had to die to be heard.” That statement is true for every child.

On Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, I’m having an important conversation with well-known author Nancy Rue about how we can all reach out to children who need protection from bullies. As a former teacher and an accomplished speaker, she has interacted with thousands of kids and has heard their stories. I think you’ll find her insights helpful and empowering for you and your child.

We discuss what leads children to bully others, the signs your child is being bullied, and how you and your child can respond. We’ll also give advice for parents whose child is the one doing the bullying.

Hear our full conversation on your local radio station, online, on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, via Google Podcasts, or listen on our free phone app.