Helping Your Child Develop Resilience

One of the most important character traits we can model for our children is resilience — the ability to overcome adversity.

As the apostle Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.”

Paul is telling us that we can endure difficult circumstances and come out the other side with greater faith. Resilience is what transforms a challenge into an opportunity and a weakness into a strength. Resilience is what empowers us to recover from disappointment, defeat, and adversity and keep moving forward.

How do we help our children develop resilience?

It begins with a choice. We can come alongside our children in ways that instill confidence and empower them to face adversity head on. With time and ongoing discipline, resilience will become a deeper part of their character and spur their growth toward hope, creative problem solving, and healthy character and relationships.

The key to resilient children … is you. They’ll thrive with your support, trust, and unconditional love and learn to harness their God-given abilities and work through their struggles.

To help you help your children develop resilience, I’ve asked Dr. Kathy Koch to join me on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Dr. Koch is a speaker, educational psychologist, and former teacher. She’s also the author of several books, including Resilient Kids: Raising Them to Embrace Life with Confidence.

She says resilient children understand and believe four things:

• Mistakes happen when I do something incorrectly, but a mistake is not the same thing as failure.

• Mistakes and failures happen because I lack a specific skill due to a lack of experience or training.

• Mistakes and failures can happen if I allow a bad attitude to get in the way. Instead, I can choose to be humble, teachable, and patient.

• I can learn a lot from both mistakes and failures.

Listen to my full conversation with Dr. Kathy Koch on your local radio station, online, on Apple Podcasts, or take us with you on our free phone app.

While you’re online, we’ve got a free parenting assessment available for you. It will quickly give you an overview of how your family is doing in several key areas. It also offers suggestions for improving the relationships in your home.

I’d also like to extend an invitation for you to become a special partner with us through our monthly “Friends of Focus on the Family” program. When you do, I’ll send you a copy of Dr. Kathy Koch’s book Resilient Kids: Raising Them to Embrace Life with Confidence as a way of saying thank you for touching others with the love of Christ. You’ll also receive member-exclusive benefits. To make your pledge, or for more information, click here or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).