Honesty and Respect

My wife Jean and I have been married since 1986. One of the most important lessons about marriage I’ve learned in that time has been this: We’re different from one another, and that’s okay. But we’ve also learned that those differences have to be navigated carefully.

You and your spouse probably see the world through different eyes, too. You fall asleep to noise, but your spouse needs quiet. You’re a night owl, but your spouse enjoys mornings. For the most part, with honesty and respect, most differences can draw you together instead of driving you apart. Think of it as two sides of the same marriage coin.

Side one is honesty. You and your spouse enjoy different activities. That’s okay. Be honest with each other about your likes and dislikes. And be honest with yourself that your spouse will never be just like you. Don’t expect your wife to become a football fan or your husband to spend every Saturday roaming antique stores. Learn to accept each other for who you are.

But side two of the marriage coin is as equally important: respect. Take some interest in each other’s activities. Ladies, you don’t have to enjoy football, but you can sit with your husband and watch part of a game. Guys, if your wife loves antiques, take a Saturday and go shopping with her.

Balanced together, honesty and respect will bring strength to your relationship and draw you closer together.