Dr. Gary Chapman wrote the book on love. Literally. He’s the author of the best-selling classic The Five Love Languages. But even Dr. Chapman had to learn how to love his wife well. Early on in their marriage, he and his wife Karolyn struggled to navigate their differences. They had such a tough time that at one point they both wondered if they had married the wrong person.
My wife Jean and I experienced something similar. When we first began premarital counseling, we had no doubts that we were alike in almost every way. By the time we finished our last session a few weeks later, we wondered if we had anything in common.
If differences are causing problems in your marriage, I encourage you to extend each other grace. Grace is what “becoming one” as a couple is all about. It’s about patience and understanding. It’s about cherishing, not just tolerating, our spouse’s point of view.
Marriage is a mystery that unfolds over time. Day by day we discover how to love and sacrifice so deeply that we become one despite our differences – or maybe because of them. You’ll never see eye to eye perfectly, so allow enough room in your marriage for both of you to feel loved and respected.
To become one flesh, embrace your mate’s differences instead of fighting them. Extend each other grace and allow your differences to bring you together instead of drive you apart.
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