See Each Other

What does intimacy look like in a thriving marriage?

Pronounce the word “intimacy” a little differently, and the answer becomes clearer. Instead of saying, “intimacy,” say, “Into me, see.”

The idea is that healthy couples “see into” each other’s hearts. They discover each other’s likes and dislikes, put each other’s needs above their own, and seek to better understand each other’s perspectives.

To create intimacy that will sustain your marriage across a lifetime, weave the following three virtues through every part of your relationship:

Always be honest with each other. Secrets and lies destroy intimacy. Transparency deepens it.
Avoid making assumptions about what each other thinks, feels, and believes. Ask questions. Engage in heartfelt conversation that explores how you both see the world.
Never let each other go through a struggle alone. Step into each other’s pain with full encouragement and support.

Couples often think of intimacy as an empty emotion, something that comes and goes and that you easily fall into and out of. But intimacy is so much more. It’s a deeply, beautiful commitment in which we give of ourselves freely, even sacrificially, to our spouse.

The key to a thriving marriage is “Into me, see.”