Jim Daly

Daly Focus Blog

FOTF logo
  • Home
  • Family & Home
  • Current Events
  • Focus News
  • About

Trying to Determine When a Date is a Date

It’s not a trick question. When it comes to two single people of the opposite sex sharing a meal or a movie together, when does it become a “date” – as opposed to just two people of the opposite sex sharing a meal or a movie together?

rockwell2.jpg

A group of my colleagues and I were talking about this the other day. The consensus seemed to be centered on the matter of money.

If the guy pays, it’s probably a date. If the couple goes Dutch, it’s probably not.
What if the woman picks up the tab?  That’s a subject for another day.

Still, there seems to be a measure of confusion on the subject. Because there’s a trend toward “hanging out” as opposed to formal dating these days, the lines have become somewhat more blurred. I know of many situations where a man and woman have gone out together (even multiple times), the guy picks up the tab and yet the woman won’t consider it a “date.”

She insists they’re “just friends.”

Is it a matter of poor communication or a circumstance where one – or both – of the involved parties are trying to keep their options open?

Or is the recipient simply enjoying the benefits of free meals and fun company?

cloud2.jpgOne of my colleagues, who is single, suggests that whether or not it’s a “date” is determined by the state of the relationship. In other words, if the two people have known each other for an extended period of time, just going out – regardless of who pays – does not make it a “date.”

However, if it’s a new relationship and one invites the other – and the person who invites is the person who pays – according to Sue, it’s a date.

This makes good sense to me, but I’m left with two main thoughts:

First, although I enjoyed my dating days, I’m so thankful to be married to the love of my life, Jean.

Second, I think I might agree with one of my male colleagues who said for him it was always easy to figure out what constituted a date: If he was attracted to the woman and she accepted his invitation, it was a “date.”

Dr. Henry Cloud, a recent guest on the radio program, has written extensively about the importance of dating well. I commend his words to you. ”Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are,” he wrote in his book, How to Get a Date Worth Keeping. “If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.”

Let me ask you:

How do you define a date?

Sign up for my weekly e-newsletter

Topics: Family and Home Tags: intimacy, marriage June 25, 2012 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

Related Posts

  • Cherish Your Spouse, Change Your Marriage
  • Answering Questions About Sex in Marriage
  • Changed in a Moment

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Jim-Daly President of Focus on the Family
Jim Daly
with Paul Batura

Posts by Jim

Be Mindful of the Time

Unhappy couple

Misunderstanding in Marriage

My Passion for the Harvest

Topics

  • Current Events
  • Family and Home
  • Focus Events
  • Uncategorized

Daly Focus

Jim-Daly Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.

Jim Daly Blog

Home
About
Posting Guidelines
Terms & Conditions
Privacy Policy
FAQs

Connect with Me

Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
RSS