Unlike recent NFL Drafts from such famed locales as New York City’s Radio City Music Hall, this year’s “virtual” iteration promises to be a more subdued affair. In the era of the coronavirus, there will be no traditional high fives or hugs – and no real stage with strobe lights and confetti.
Tonight’s annual extravaganza will be coming from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell’s basement – a space usually reserved for family time R&R.
Most analysts are expecting the Cincinnati Bengals to select Joe Burrow, last year’s Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback from Louisiana State University, with the first overall selection.
Except for hardcore fans, there’s usually only moderate interest outside the first or second round – but in thinking about the dynamics and drama surrounding the annual festivities, it’s struck me there’s some applicable marriage lessons to be found in the dynamics of the draft and sport itself.
So, friends, if your spouse is giving you a hard time for watching tonight’s proceedings – you can assure them that there really are redeemable and practical reasons to do so!
1. Preparation and commitment are what qualified each player for the NFL Draft. Behind all the impressive statistics and chiseled bodies is a lot of hard work. Early mornings, late nights. Sacrifice and service.
If you want to enjoy a strong marriage, you have to work at it. It’s not a 50-50 proposition. It’s 100-100. Like a player vying for a coveted slot in the NFL, you have to be all in. You can’t just show up and expect good things to happen.
2. They love the game even if they don’t always like it. There’s a great quote inside the Palestra, a storied Philadelphia gymnasium. It reads: “To win the game is great. To play the game is greater. But to love the game is greatest of all.”
There may be days when you don’t like your spouse very much – and vice versa. But marriage isn’t just about feelings. It’s about an unshakable commitment to each other.
3. Just getting drafted is only the beginning. You have to maintain your spot each year. There are plenty of players drafted who never make it – who wash out due to injury or poor life decisions. Contracts are cancelled all the time in the NFL.
Men enjoy the pursuit, and once they marry, they often stop romancing their wives. It’s a huge mistake. It reminds me of the old story – of the man’s wife who complained her husband never told her he loved her anymore. The man replied, “I told you when I married you and if anything changes, I’ll let you know.” I strongly encourage you to date your spouse regardless of how many years it’s been since your wedding.
4. It’s not just about the contract. It’s about attitude and teamwork. The headlines often focus on the astronomical salaries of professional athletes, but scouts and team executives don’t usually pick players in the draft based on price. In fact, there is already a rookie wage scale system for draftees. They look for hardworking players with good skills, excellent attitudes and men who know how to be part of an ensemble cast.
Couples that treat their marriage vows as a transaction usually find themselves in trouble soon after the honeymoon. Are you a giver or a taker? Are you more interested in meeting your spouse’s needs than your own? The late Zig Ziglar used to say, “Your attitude determines your altitude” – a truism in life in general but most especially in marriage.
I hope your team chooses wisely tonight. But most importantly, I pray you and your spouse apply these timeless principles to your family’s team in your own home.
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