Company We Keep

Marriages succeed or fail for many reasons. An important factor that’s often overlooked is the company we keep.

Like every newlywed, Pam discovered just a short time into her marriage that she and her husband didn’t agree on everything. In particular, their expectations for how he would help around the house were different.

Hoping for a little support, Pam shared her concerns with a female co-worker. The woman responded with a few complaints of her own about her no-good husband. As the months went by, negativity took root, and small annoyances in Pam’s marriage began to escalate into full conflict.

Fortunately, Pam chose a new group of friends who were committed to helping each other build thriving marriages. They took Pam’s concerns seriously, but they also helped her to see her circumstances in a positive light. Could her husband help more with the laundry or the dishes? “Of course,” they’d say, “but don’t overlook all the other things he does around the house.”

Pam now warns other couples to choose their friends carefully because frustration and disappointment are contagious. When you open your marriage to critical people, they’re likely to lead you down a path that will make you more negative, demanding, or controlling.

Instead, take your needs to friends with healthy attitudes who will inspire you to find solutions and build a stronger relationship.