Essential Skills for Navigating Tough Conversations with Teens

One of the hardest parts of parenting during the teen years is understanding how to have conversations that really matter about tough issues like broken trust, difficult friendships, or dating. We want to help our kids become who God created them to be, but tough conversations can quickly turn emotional or tense and leave us wondering if we helped the situation or made it worse.

You may find it helpful to reframe those moments. Think of your child as a dump truck filled with diamonds. If that were the cargo, every single item would be valuable to you, worthy of your full attention.

Another tip: when your child is unloading, don’t shovel stuff back in. That is, don’t add your input or interrupt them. Share your thoughts later. For now, just listen.

And remember this: your children are going to unload what they’re feeling with someone. You want their primary choice to be you. Feeling listened to and valued is the bedrock of your child’s entire future. When they unload their dump truck, give your attention to every diamond.

To equip you with the biblical wisdom you need to create conversation with your teen that will help them feel heard, respected, and open to growth, author Mark Shoemaker is joining me on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly.

Mark graduated from Moody Bible Institute and has been a youth and family pastor since 2011. He shares practical tools for having hard conversations with your teens, including:

• The foundation for successful conversations.

• Steps to prepare for a talk with your teen.

• What not to say.

• Navigating family conversations.

• Navigating friendships and dating.

Hear my full conversation with Mark Shoemaker on your local radio station, online, on Apple Podcasts, or take us with you on our free phone app.

While you’re online, why not take our free parenting assessment? It will quickly give you an overview of how your family is doing in several key areas. It also offers suggestions for improving the relationships in your home.

If your child is struggling, give us a call. We will call you back free of charge, spend some time with you on the phone, and then refer you to a like-minded counselor in your area, if needed. The number during business hours is 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).

Tim Shoemaker and Mark Shoemaker’s book What to Say and How to Say It to Your Teen: A Parent’s Guide to 30 Tricky Conversations is available for a gift of any amount. For more information, click here or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).