Finding Restoration When Love Is Gone

Here at Focus on the Family, we routinely receive heartbreaking messages like this one: “My spouse just told me they don’t love me, and we shouldn’t stay married. What can I do?”

You may have the same question if your marriage has encountered a similar problem. The answer, according to counselor and author Dr. David Clarke, is to implement an aggressive strategy of “tough love” as soon as possible.

That means showing strength and taking decisive action. Typically, that includes three steps:

Confronting the problem
Setting up healthy boundaries
Insisting on couples’ counseling

Above all, Dr. Clarke says, remember this: never chase, beg, or plead. Exhibiting weakness could cost you your marriage. If your relationship has deteriorated to the point where your spouse is taking negative action, you must be willing to take positive action in response. Softness on your part will only drive the wedge between you even deeper.

Standing firm when your emotions are fragile can be tough. To gain the courage to stand your ground, surround yourself with friends and family who can support you. It’s also a good idea to seek out a counselor who can help you make good, strong decisions.

If you need guidance on what your next steps ought to be, I encourage you to listen to our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Finding Restoration When Love Is Gone.” Our guest, Dr. David Clarke, has been counseling couples and families for almost 30 years. I think you’ll find his insights both inspiring, informative, and full of practical steps you can take to move your broken marriage in a positive and healthy direction.

Listen to our conversation on your local radio station. Or you can tune in anytime online, on Apple Podcasts, via Google Podcasts, or take us with you on our free phone app.

If you’re feeling hopeless because your spouse is contemplating divorce – or maybe they’ve even filed the paperwork – I want to remind you about Hope Restored. These marriage intensives can go a long way toward facilitating healing between you and your spouse and bringing restoration to your relationship. The intensives take place in three locations: Branson, MO; Greenville, MI; and the WinShape Retreat Center in Rome, GA. The number for Hope Restored is 1-866-875-2915, or visit online.

With a little guidance from our team of experts, God can intervene and transform your marriage in ways that may seem impossible to you right now.

For immediate assistance, I invite you to speak with one of our counselors. It would be their privilege to offer you a free consultation. Call us, leave your name and number, and they’ll get back with you just as soon as possible. The number during business hours is 1-800-A-FAMILY.

This broadcast highlights why Focus on the Family exists. Every month, our counseling team fields over 4,000 calls, of which about 1,500 are related to marriages in conflict. If you can, support our ministry and help us be a cup of cold water to these couples.

Consider participating in our “Friends of Focus on the Family” program by becoming a monthly partner. When you do, I’ll send you a copy of Dr. Clarke’s book What to Do When He Says, “I Don’t Love You Anymore”: An Action Plan to Regain Confidence, Power, and Control as a way of saying thank you. To make your pledge, or for more information, visit our website.