How to Change Your Marriage in 31 Days

If your marriage could use a little help, the next 31 days could change everything.

That may sound like a promise right out of an infomercial, but it’s closer to the truth than you might think.

You see, every relationship is something of a dance. Ideally, couples learn to sway and dip in unison and to move gracefully across the dance floor with each other. But, of course, we all know that toes get stepped on along the way.

The solution is not for couples to hang up their dance shoes, but to make a few subtle changes to their steps and timing with one another.

That could include a 5-to-10-second kiss instead of a peck on the cheek, or taking a short walk together each day.

Do things like that consistently for 31 days, and you can deepen your connection and intimacy more quickly than you might think.

Many couples are suspicious that anything meaningful can happen in such a short time because they tend to set their expectations too high. They believe to improve their marriage they have to schedule dinner at a fancy restaurant, followed by a movie, then hopefully make it across town to a park overlooking the city in time to watch the sun set.

Those kinds of grandiose plans are what our guest on today’s program, Arlene Pellicane, calls the “I can hardly waits.” Obviously, marriages need moments like that. But life is too busy for most of us to fill our schedules with them. That’s especially true when you have a brood of children scurrying throughout your house.

What reaches into the often mundane parts of a marriage and breathes life into it are the subtle changes we make.

Arlene uses the acronym DREAM to highlight how wives can revive their marriage with some of those small changes.

D is for “domestic tranquility.” That simply means peace in the house. Create a home that’s a happy place to be.

R is for “respect.” Typically, a wife’s respect is what communicates love to a man.

E is for “eros,” which is the Greek word for romantic love.

A is for “attraction.” You don’t have to clean the house in a dress and pearls like June Cleaver, but Arlene says staying attractive to your husband is important.

M stands for “mutual activities” that you and your husband do together.

Today’s program is all about women enriching their own lives by dreaming again with their husband. We’ll be talking about what women can do to have a husband who’s optimistic, who loves life, who’s content, and who enjoys being a husband. And how to do that in the midst of a career, a home, and kids without wearing yourself out.

Of course, men have their own work to do to make a marriage healthy and successful and their wives happy. But today we’re concentrating on practical ideas for wives to strengthen their marriage by making subtle changes. Today’s program isn’t about a desperate marriage situation: it’s about learning how to “tune up” what God has already given you and keeping your mind on the right things so your relationship can grow stronger.

Join us for our conversation with author and popular guest Arlene Pellicane on our program, “Building a Dream Marriage During the Parenting Years.”

Listen on your local radio station or online via our free, downloadable mobile phone app.