Some adult men and women feel called to singleness. They live alone, but not in isolation. They enjoy deeply connected friendships, and they value the opportunities for service and adventure that being single affords them.
But a lot of adults hope their singleness is only a temporary season of life. They yearn and even pray for marriage. But, for many, the journey to find a mate has not panned out quite the way they expected.
Where do you go to meet quality people? Should you actively search for a mate or sit back and wait for God to lead him or her to you? How do you know when someone is marriage material? These are some of the most common questions we get from singles here at Focus on the Family.
For those hoping to find lifelong love, answers are often not easy to come by. Rushing headlong into marriage with someone you barely know isn’t wise, but neither is evaluating a potential mate with such scrutiny that a sort of relational paralysis develops.
Our guests on today’s program are pastor Dan Chun and our own Lisa Anderson, who heads up Boundless, our ministry to singles. Together, they bring some clarity to finding a mate, a process that can often feel shrouded in mystery. Of course, there aren’t iron-clad guarantees when it comes to relationships. But there is wisdom to consider.
Pastor Chun, for example, encourages singles to answer what he believes are the three most important questions in life. He calls them the three M’s:
- What is your mission in life?
- Who is your master?
- Who is your mate?
Knowing your own heart on these questions is crucial. If the person you’re interested in doesn’t share your vision for life, it’ll likely have a negative impact on your relationship and drive you further and further apart.
Lisa urges singles to include their friends in the dating process. It was once understood that the community helped chaperone couples. Those closest to the couple helped pick the date and were intentional about observing how well they interacted with one another.
Today, connected singles have a community. It’s very important to allow family and friends to play a part in deciding whether or not someone is a potential mate. Singles need to trust their friends to speak into their lives and watch their blind spots.
Those are just a couple of the ideas we’ll discuss on our program today, “Finding Your Lifelong Love.” So if you have questions about dating or finding a mate, I encourage you to tune in. You can find the broadcast on your local radio station, or you can listen online or via our free, downloadable mobile phone app.
Once you’ve heard the show, click over to Boundless.org for articles, advice columns, a group blog, a weekly podcast, and more. It’s a great place where singles can dialogue, be real, and feel encouraged and supported.