Daly Focus Blog
Does your marriage stress you out?
If not, there’s still a good chance that you’re bringing stress into your marriage.
Either way, how do you handle it?
The natural inclination for many couples is to seek stress relief in non-relational ways that enable them to hide from each other – things like drugs and alcohol, or even behaviors like shopping, gambling, excessive cleaning, or binge-watching television – all of which lead to addiction, unhealthy obsessions, or lashing out at other people.
Emmy Award-winning sports journalist and former ESPN producer Jason Romano remembers the day he got the phone call. How could he forget?
On the other end was his father, who was in tears with terrible news. Patty, his second wife and Jason’s stepmother, had been killed in a house fire. Jason was devastated.
Then he discovered it was all a lie.
His father had been drunk and made up the whole story. For money? For sympathy?
Pastor Ted Cunningham says, “Social media is a place where people share their opinions without sticking around for the conversation.”
He’s right. A lot of people like to share their opinions, but few like to listen. Beyond social media, that’s also a big problem in marriage, in parenting, and in interactions with friends and extended family.
Listening has become synonymous with approval, agreement, and wholesale acceptance of someone’s opinion. The natural response, then, is to talk over people and to express our point of view to the exclusion of all others.
Skyscrapers are amazing feats of engineering. They need to be strong enough to resist the forces that come against them, like gravity and wind. That’s why skyscrapers are built with steel.
They also need to be flexible enough to withstand the forces that come against them … like gravity and wind. That’s why architects design skyscrapers with a certain amount of sway.
Strength and softness. The two sides of a superstructure. Two sides of love as well.
More than likely, you’ve taken a personality test or two, read a book on the subject, or even heard us talk about the topic on our Focus on the Family Broadcast. In 42 years, our ministry has featured numerous guests who have helped listeners discover whether they’re a lion or a golden retriever. A pleaser or an avoider. A sanguine or a choleric.
If none of those terms sound familiar, listen through some of our past broadcasts that cover personality and love styles.
Do you have someone in your life who’s toxic? Someone who’s negative, even antagonistic toward you. Someone who tries to control your life. Someone who, no matter what you say or do to please them, it’s never enough.
What’s a good way to respond to a person like that?
Christians are especially likely to have relationships with toxic people. Coming alongside another person with the love of Christ in a time of need can be messy.
My wife and I often discuss our relationship in terms of a theme. It could be “forgiveness,” or “grace,” or maybe “patience.” Then we try to weave that theme into every part of our marriage. Not only will we try to be more patient, for example, but we’ll make patience a part of our conversation with one another for that season of life.
Sometimes all it takes to infuse a marriage with more happiness is a few small changes.
Todd and Karen Ehman were convinced they were perfectly matched for one another … until they went to premarital counseling.
They underwent a battery of tests and expected their counselor to tell them, “Your relationship was made in heaven. You’re going places. You’re going to do great things for God.” Instead, he held Todd’s profile in one hand and Karen’s profile in the other. He said, “I have to be honest with you. I know you love each other, and you love the Lord.
The assassination of our 20th President, James Garfield, offers an important lesson for people struggling with bitterness and resentment.
Let’s start with when Garfield was assassinated. It’s hard to say exactly. He was shot on July 2nd, 1881, less than four months into his term. But he didn’t die until 79 days later, on September 19th.
It’s also difficult to say exactly who killed him. The man who shot President Garfield was named Charles Guiteau. But Garfield didn’t die from his gunshot wound.
There’s no one way to raise children. Discipline that works magic with one child may be completely ineffective with another.
At the bottom of every effective parenting strategy lies a universal foundation to good parenting: relationship.
Author Josh McDowell says, “Rules without relationship leads to rebellion.” That means your child’s primary concern in life is not your rules.
What matters most to your teen or young adult is knowing that you love them.
That sense of intimate connection won’t come through your instruction, lectures, or rules.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
