Daly Focus Blog
Instilling virtue in our children can be pretty serious business. After all, the adult world is a competitive place, and we want kids to be prepared.
Unfortunately, the desire to raise our children can lead to harsh standards that smother them. At report card time, a nearly straight-A student may be asked why they didn’t get that one grade a little higher. Or a teenager who displays the slightest sign of irresponsibility may get a 15-minute lecture.
Single moms face unique challenges when it comes to raising boys. A single mom is always interacting with her son because she’s the only parent, but that doesn’t mean she’s connecting with him in the way she wants or in the way he needs. Unlike a mother and a daughter, who both relate to the female experience, the gap between a mother and her son widens as he grows older.
How can a single mom step more deeply into her son’s world?
Kirsten Watson’s husband, Benjamin, played for six NFL teams and won a super Bowl in 2005. Much of the time over those 15 years, she found herself on her own in a new city with no support and the responsibility for handling a household of seven children, including twins. At one point, her stress was so severe that she suffered from migraines and was told that her pain would continue unless she made some changes.
Maybe you can relate to the pressure Kirsten felt.
In Colorado, we’re locked in the throes of winter. Cold. Snow. Ice.
I can’t wait for the return of summer because summer means camping for my family. We love getting outdoors. We love parking our fifth wheel in some remote location where the sounds of nature aren’t drowned out by cars and busyness.
When there’s a lake nearby, the first thing my boys do is grab rocks to throw into the water. The bigger the better.
Has one of your children ever thrown a world-class fit in a store?
My son Trent did that once when he was little. I was out of town, and Jean was alone with him in the checkout aisle. Trent wanted a candy bar and had a meltdown when his mom told him no.
Jean was a new mom and was embarrassed that she couldn’t get Trent under control. Fortunately, a man dressed in a military uniform intervened and told Trent, “Son, you need to listen to your mother.”
I don’t know who that man was, but I say, “Thank you.”
Situations like that frequently happen to moms and dads, but it’s not always clear how to respond.
One of the main reasons parents contact Focus on the Family is for help sharing their faith with their children.
Our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Sharing Your Faith with Your Kids” is designed to address that concern by equipping parents to share their faith and disciple their children more intentionally.
Our guest is Natalie Frisk, author of the book Raising Disciples: How to Make Faith Matter for Our Kids. She believes that having conversations about God with children in every stage of life helps make these discussions less awkward and more meaningful.
Most couples expect the skills for raising children to come to them naturally. Certain parenting instincts “kick into gear” when you become a mom or a dad, of course, but most of us are surprised by how challenging parenting can be and how much hard work and energy it requires.
It’s human nature to look for short-cuts or “formulas” to make the job easier. But there are no formulas.
God puts every parent on a journey to discover who their children are and what their children most need to become who they were designed to be.
As a father, I’ve enjoyed every stage of parenting. From toddlerhood to adulthood, parenting offers wonderful surprises and opportunities to learn new things about your children.
Of course, there are always challenges along the way. At its heart, parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. When you start a family, you have to be in it for the long haul.
Which is why so many parents are emotionally exhausted. They believe the secret to a successful family is trying harder and doing more.
At what age would you say children become adults? Sixteen? Eighteen? Twenty-one?
Answers among parents likely vary widely. Psychologist, author, and expert in adolescent and family relationships, Dr. Ken Wilgus, says adulthood isn’t a moment in time as much as a process of growth he calls “Progressive Emancipation.”
He encourages parents to think of their teenagers as adults in training. Teens, he says, are not big children; they are young adults. Around age 13, childhood comes to its natural end, but that doesn’t mean that your job as a parent is over.
The war in Ukraine.
Starting a new school.
Staying home alone.
Fear of the dark.
Every child worries. It’s normal for children to feel anxious when navigating new experiences or processing difficult news. In fact, fear is a healthy response in some circumstances.
The goal is to teach children discernment and balance. A healthy fear of busy intersections or growling dogs is good. But feeling hindered, even crippled, by worry in everyday life is not.
On our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Helping Kids Navigate Worry in Healthy Ways,” we’re sharing practical advice for equipping your child to manage his or her fears.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
