Daly Focus Blog
“I quit. I don’t want to be a mother anymore.”
Author Sarah Parshall Perry blurted that out one day in a moment of weakness while her husband was travelling for work and she was caring for three children with the stomach flu. She was exhausted after days with little sleep.
Her breaking point came as she was bathing her youngest child even though she hadn’t been able to shower herself. When she brushed against the shower curtain, and it collapsed on them both, she cried, “I quit.
You may have read “The Fox and the Crow” when you were a child. As you’ll recall, the famous story from “Aesop’s Fables” warns us to be wary of flattery.
Or, you may have read about Christian’s journey to the Celestial City in “Pilgrim’s Progress.” On the road to the Celestial City, Christian meets a giant named Despair. Just as Christian must overcome the giant, Despair is a reality many Christians face in their spiritual lives.
A father who came to psychologist Michael Anderson’s office for counseling illustrates the shift in thinking many moms and dads need to make.
The father said, “In the last 90 days, my daughter has completely changed. She’ll do anything her friends tell her to do. She’s smoking. She’s drinking. She’s shoplifting.”
Michael asked him, “What was she like 90 days ago?”
The father said, “She was an A-student. She was in the church youth group. She’d do anything we told her to do.”
That last phrase caught Michael’s ear.
Have you had “The Talk” with your child? You know, the one about sex?
If so, how did it go?
If not, why not? Maybe you feel nervous because you don’t know what to say.
I don’t blame you. The talk I had with one of my boys didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. I’d planned a weekend long father/son getaway. We had a good time, and I did my best to explain everything in a way he’d understand.
Amy Rienow says she and her husband Rob got married … then dated for 10 years.
It was just a few months from first their first date to their wedding, which meant the years that followed were filled with surprises. They both loved the Lord, but they were clueless about the purpose of marriage and family.
Their crisis moment came 10 years into their marriage. Rob was a dedicated youth pastor. His number one passion was passing his faith to other people’s children.
There’s no one way to raise children. Discipline that works magic with one child may be completely ineffective with another.
At the bottom of every effective parenting strategy lies a universal foundation to good parenting: relationship.
Author Josh McDowell says, “Rules without relationship leads to rebellion.” That means your child’s primary concern in life is not your rules.
What matters most to your teen or young adult is knowing that you love them.
That sense of intimate connection won’t come through your instruction, lectures, or rules.
I remember taking our boys to Disneyland when they were around 6 and 8. One of them was determined to get his way and had a meltdown. My attempted solution was to threaten, “Control yourself, or you will never come here again.”
It was a silly parenting strategy on my part because at the time, Jean and I enjoyed taking the boys to Disneyland and creating memories. In other words, I wasn’t really willing to follow through on the consequences I threatened.
At some point, almost every boy will struggle with the feeling that he doesn’t measure up.
My teenage feelings of inadequacy shot to the surface one day while I was in gym class, standing behind a muscular upper-classman named Glen and one of his buddies. They were talking about how guys grow bigger as they get older.
Without warning, Glen wheeled around and – Bam! – he socked me right in the chest. “See this guy?” he said.
I’ll cut right to the point.
Jean and I are grieving a little bit this week – not over the death of a loved one or a dire medical diagnosis – but grieving nonetheless.
Our oldest, Trent, left for a nearby college earlier this week.
We couldn’t be happier for him, of course, especially seeing how he’s matured and grown over these last few years. We’ve been impressed with his choice of friends, his attitude and his overall goals and sense of direction.
“We
practiced an active shooter drill today.”
Those
words from Lee Nienhuis’ grade-school aged son, Ryan, felt like a gut punch.
She could barely hold herself together when he told her, “We pile up in the
corner like puppies, and we hide.”
That
wasn’t the only time Lee was confronted by the darkness her children face in this
world. Another incident happened in church. The congregation was singing the
hymn I Have Decided to Follow Jesus.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
