Daly Focus Blog
There are a lot of great dads out there, but many men are disengaged from their boys. They don’t see masculinity as a quality they offer to their sons. They see it as something boys figure out on their own.
That was my story. I didn’t have a father to teach me how to be a man. I had to figure it out by myself. But that journey wasn’t easy, and it’s why I can say from experience that leaving a boy in the hands of “trial-and-error” is not ideal.
Author Jeff Manion once decided to de-clutter his life. His goal was to throw out or give away five items every day. Over a period of six weeks, he got rid of outdated video tapes and DVDs, old sneakers, and more than a few things from the garage. At the end of that short period, Jeff succeeded in tossing out a total of 210 items.
He thought he’d feel relief. Instead, he felt disappointment – not because he missed the things he’d gotten rid of but because his life was no different in their absence.
Most toddlers share one thing in common – they want their own way. We’ve all seen the “throw yourself on the floor” tantrums that often shows up as a result. But what’s a parent to do when the kicking and screaming starts? We’d like to share a few helpful suggestions.
Most importantly, when your child demands his own way, don’t give in. If you do, he’ll learn that tantrums work and is more likely to throw a fit the next time he wants something.
Here’s an eye-opening stat for you: research shows that children spend an average of seven hours and 22 minutes on their phones every day!
That’s even more troubling when you consider studies that show a connection between pervasive technology use and rising levels of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts in children and teens.
How much technology is too much? Maybe a better question is, “How can parents help their children navigate technology well, especially since it’s become integral to how we manage our lives?”
On Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, I’m talking with author Molly DeFrank about how parents can reset technological boundaries and behaviors for their children.
Respect, humility and courage – foundational to a happy, healthy society – have been diminished in our culture.
My wife and I aimed to instill those values in our boys, Trent and Troy, by enrolling them in Cotillion, an etiquette class that prepares children to interact with each other with manners as mature young men and women.
The boys were apprehensive, but I assured them, “Don’t worry, guys. They’ll mostly teach you table manners.” Boy, was I wrong.
When my boys learned how to drive, I don’t mind saying I was nervous about it. I knew they’d do fine, but my wife, Jean and I talked through our expectations before we ever handed over a set of keys. From one parent to another, here are a few things that might make sense to you, too.
Teens usually think their driver’s license is all the permission they need to hit the road. But driving ought to be a privilege they earn instead of an absolute right.
Have you had “The Talk” with your children?
Yes, that talk – the one about sex.
When the time came for me to talk with my oldest son, Trent, I was pretty nervous. Sex can be uncomfortable for two adults to talk about openly, let alone a child. Nevertheless, I was pushed forward.
After explaining the sacredness of human sexuality, I carefully described, in simple and age-appropriate terms, the basic mechanics of sex. When I finished, Trent was awfully quiet.
David Jones is living proof that you should never underestimate a father’s love.
For months, David looked forward to walking his daughter down the aisle. But then Hurricane Helene came along, causing catastrophic damage, knocking out power for millions, and shutting down hundreds of roads, including the ones David needed to get to his daughter’s wedding.
Under normal conditions, his drive from South Carolina to Tennessee takes two hours. After the hurricane, he spent seven hours in traffic that ended at a road block almost 20 miles from his destination.
Has parenting been a bumpy ride for you? Some days may be so stressful you’re left wondering, “Is all of this worth it?”
I believe the answer is a resounding yes, but you may not fully appreciate why until after your children are grown. The turbulence can blind you to the reward. On summer vacation one year, my boys and I signed up for a helicopter ride over Bryce Canyon in Utah. The day of our flight the helicopter was under repair, so the pilot took us up in a small Cessna he owned instead.
Some parents believe you develop a child’s self-confidence by protecting them from adversity. That strategy seems reasonable, but it’s actually counter-productive. Children need love and support, but they also need challenges. Effective parenting isn’t about making children comfortable right where they are. It’s about encouraging them toward something even greater.
Let me give you a personal example: My father figures were difficult to respect. My biological father died from alcohol. My step dad abandoned me and my siblings the day of my mother’s funeral.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
