Daly Focus Blog
Have you ever wished you could change something about yourself? I’m sure we all have. We wish we were taller or shorter, that we had curly hair or straight, or that we could throw a ball or play an instrument like someone else.
It’s not unusual to wish for strength in areas where you’re weak, or talent where you’re not gifted. But it’s a short leap from that common desire to losing sight of the purpose for which God created you.
My wife, Jean, is a living embodiment of Proverbs 16:24: “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”
Every time I call her on the phone, she answers with a positive tone that lets me know she’s glad to hear from me. Her voice is a moment of respite for me in what can often be a busy and stressful schedule.
Positive words bless people, but it’s not always easy to speak them.
My wife Jean and I have raised two boys, Trent and Troy. Throughout their childhoods, I was able to enjoy a lot of father/son time with them. Just the three of us. Baseball games. Football games. Camping. Fishing.
Looking back on it, the one thing I would change is that I would have done more with each of them individually, to invest one on one time with them. Individual quality time is a great way to show a child love.
You can learn a lot from your kids’ report cards. Letter grades may not tell the whole story behind your child’s education, but they do give a sense of where your children are struggling in school and where they’re doing well.
Years ago, I started using the same idea to help me better connect with my two boys. Every few months, I’d ask, “How well do you feel I listen to you when you have a problem to share?
Jean and I have a strong-willed boy. Over the years, we’ve joked that we were raising a lawyer-in-training. He could find a loophole in anything.
Once, Jean hosted a women’s tea and set out chocolates in the living room. She later discovered half the bowl was gone. When she asked him if he’d eaten all the chocolates, our son responded, “No,” without hesitation.
“You didn’t eat the chocolates?”
“Oh, I ate some of them. But you asked if I had eaten all of them.”
If you’ve got a strong-willed child, you’ve probably encountered situations like that.
Mom, are you tired?
Research says that you are. Studies show that the average mom changes over 2,000 diapers a year, does almost 200 loads of laundry, and loses almost 900 hours of sleep! And many moms work outside of the home as well!
Motherhood can be exhausting. Moms give, give, and give some more. Especially when the boys were young, my wife Jean often felt like no one saw or appreciated everything she did each day.
As a father of two young men, the topic of how young people and faith coalesce is close to my heart because Jean and I are living it right now. We have diligently tried to raise our sons to be men after God’s heart. Some days we feel like we’ve hit a home run. Other days, we fear we’re striking out.
Maybe you feel the same way. Christian parents are competing with a lot in the culture when it comes to believing in God and living for him.
Does this formula remind you of your parenting style?
You probably recognize that from a math class somewhere in your past. It guarantees that every time you add A and B together, you get C. So, 3 + 2 always equals 5. Every time. It’s simple. It’s reliable.
It’s predictable.
Which is why formulas are the go-to parenting method for so many moms and dads. And many don’t even realize they’re doing it.
Here’s the test.
College is supposed to be an exciting season of life. Fun times. Great classes. New friends.
But it can also be a season of stress. Along with stacks of homework, students have questions about the future. Add to that the impact of the pandemic, and today’s college students are facing a lot of uncertainty.
We were able to host a group of interns this summer here at Focus on the Family. They shared some of their concerns with us about what’s ahead for them.
To raise happy, healthy children, remember this: Rules alone won’t work.
Rules only control a child’s outer behavior. To develop a child’s inner character, you have to go deeper. Until children develop an inner motivation to do the right thing, they’ll keep sticking their toe over the line.
Like a friend of mine’s five-year-old daughter. They were playing together in the front yard. “Stay in the grass,” he told her. “Don’t step onto the sidewalk or the driveway.” The little girl looked her dad right in the eye, playfully danced to the edge of the grass … and stuck her big toe across the forbidden line.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
