Confidence Through Adversity

Some parents believe you develop a child’s self-confidence by protecting them from adversity. That strategy seems reasonable, but it’s actually counter-productive. Children need love and support, but they also need challenges. Effective parenting isn’t about making children comfortable right where they are. It’s about encouraging them toward something even greater.

Let me give you a personal example: My father figures were difficult to respect. My biological father died from alcohol. My step dad abandoned me and my siblings the day of my mother’s funeral. My foster dad treated me like I was a burden instead of a blessing.

Fortunately, I crossed paths with Paul Moro, my high school football coach. He was tough, but he cared about the guys on his team and helped us achieve more than we believed we were capable of. I remember one practice when he confronted me about not giving my all. He grabbed my facemask and said, “If you want to lead my team, you gotta prove you can handle it.” He built my confidence by challenging me to face adversity head-on and overcome it.

Children don’t develop confidence from ease and comfort but from learning that rewards are earned and setbacks are opportunities for growth. Allow your child to experience success and failure. They’ll develop resilience, a strong work ethic, and the character they need to take on the world.