Every dating couple believes their marriage will be a string of mountaintop experiences.
In the early stages of a relationship, couples can’t imagine feeling discontent with their significant other. They can’t fathom their romance fading or their conversations not stretching into the wee hours of the night. And disagreements? What disagreements?
But once a couple is married, those expectations often hit speed bumps. There’s the monotony of work and paying bills week-in and week-out. There are stressors – a job loss, the death of a loved one, financial struggles, the birth of children. Real life sets in, and the dream begins to fade.
All of which shows that good marriages aren’t built on the fires of lofty ideals. They’re formed through the slow burn of the ups and downs of day-to-day experience.
Many couples are like Guy and Amber Lia who were convinced that their marriage was a mistake soon after their wedding and were considering throwing in the towel. They each had different perspectives about what was important, and they didn’t have the communication skills to work through those differences together. They reacted instead of responding to each other, and their relationship spiraled.
On our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage,” Guy and Amber Lia share why they stayed together, what they did to eliminate marital tension, and how they found true peace in Christ.
Learn how to cast a new vision for your marriage and to temper your dreams with a little less fairy tale and a little more real life.
Amber and Guy Lia are relationship coaches and co-owners of a faith and family production company in Los Angeles. Listen to my full conversation with them on your local radio station, online, on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or on our free phone app.
I’d like to extend an invitation for you to become a special partner with us through our monthly “Friends of Focus on the Family” program. When you do, I’ll send you a copy of Amber and Guy’s bookMarriage Triggers: Exchanging Spouses’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses as a way of saying thank you for touching others with the love of Christ. You’ll also receive member-exclusive benefits. To make your pledge, or for more information, visit our website or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).
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Gavin McKinley says
-An issue that’s often ignored is that the unity and romance newlyweds prize is the result of deciding to follow God. Basically, following God often makes life more difficult, not easier, but also forces you into the unity and communication you need. The fact is our sinful nature doesn’t want to communicate and be united. In our more thoughtful, quiet moments we may realize we need it, but we can’t manufacture it for ourselves. Choosing the difficult decisions of God will force us to be this way.