Kids Are (Not) Resilient

When married couples decide to divorce, they often defend their decision by saying, “The children will be fine. Kids are resilient.”

The truth is losing a parent to divorce can be more difficult for a child to overcome than losing a parent to death. When a parent dies, family, friends, and the broader community surround children with love and support. But when parents divorce, people avoid talking about it, which leaves children to recover on their own.

Another consideration is that divorce not only severs a marriage, it often severs the relationship between the parents and the child as well. Here at Focus on the Family, we frequently hear from adults whose relationship with their parents fractured after divorce. Some never saw their parents again.

Marriage is like gluing pieces of paper together. Divorce is like pulling them apart. There’s no way to do it cleanly. Your children are bonded to you in emotional and spiritual ways that are indescribably deep. No matter how carefully you go about it, divorce will have a profound and lasting impact on them.

Obviously, saving a troubled marriage isn’t easy, but making your child’s long term well-being your top priority is always a wise first move.

If you’re open to reconciling your marriage, but you don’t know where to begin, speak with one of our counselors at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).