Every married couple has disagreements. Some of those arguments happen because of misunderstandings about what our spouse is really thinking.
Take Dan and Barb for example. Barb asked her husband a couple of weeks ago to fix the kitchen sink, but Dan hasn’t gotten around to it, yet. Barb is tired of waiting, so she reminds him that the sink is still broken. And – boom! – misunderstanding and conflict.
Barb sees the situation her way: Her husband has had plenty of time to get the job done, but he hasn’t taken the initiative to do the work. From her perspective, she’s simply reminding him about the project.
Dan, on the other hand, has an entirely different view. She’s not “reminding him.” She’s nagging. He’s worked late every night, and there are a lot of other things around the house he’s been trying to get done first.
Who’s right and who’s wrong in a situation like that? Usually, there’s a bit of truth to both perspectives. There’s a lot that both are misinterpreting.
When a disagreement pops up, a great starting place for resolving your differences is considering whether or not you’re seeing the situation accurately. Maybe your assumptions about your spouse are wrong. You won’t avoid conflict if you assume the worst about your spouse. Assume the best, and you’ll reduce your conflict and increase your happiness. Give each other some grace.
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