Fathers and mothers both play a vital role in raising boys. Vicki Courtney and her husband can both attest to that. They worked hard together to steer their sons toward godly manhood.
But in every home, Mom and Dad each bring unique characteristics and qualities into their parenting. Although dads should serve as the primary role model in their sons’ lives, our broadcast yesterday zeroed in on the vitally important and irreplaceable role that moms play in their sons’ lives.
As you’ll hear from Vicki’s own stories, many moms struggle to believe that God will equip them to play their part in adequately preparing their sons for manhood. I hope our conversation will convince you that He does.
Vicki came to believe it. But it wasn’t always easy. Like most of parenting, getting from “where you are” to “where you hope to be” is a journey.
For Vicki, you could call that parenting odyssey “the tale of two notes.”
It’s been twenty years, but Vicki still remembers her son’s freshman year in high school when she got a call from the school’s attendance director. “Your son turned in a note this morning, saying he has a dentist appointment at lunchtime. It looked suspicious, so we wanted to confirm that you sent the note.”
Vicki hadn’t written the note, so right then she faced a moment of truth. Do I rescue the boy, or do I let the consequences of his choices run their course?
Outsiders might see that as an easy decision. But if you’ve been in a similar situation with your kids, you know those moments aren’t always as cut and dry as we wish they were. If she revealed her son’s deception, would his place in the National Honor Society be in jeopardy? What about his other school activities and future opportunities?
Vicki finally answered, “I didn’t write the note. Where do we go from here?”
The school said, “He’s coming back in an hour to pick up his pass.”
“You know what?” Vicki said, “I think I’d like to be there for that moment.”
She hopped in the car and got to the school’s office right after her son had walked through the door. “I’m here for my pass,” she heard him tell the attendance director.
“Yes, we called your mother about that.”
“That would be me,” Vicki said.
Her son turned around, and the color drained from his face.
It’s in those moments a mother can wonder if she’s up to the task of raising a boy into a young man who loves the Lord and chooses a path through life based on character and integrity.
In a child’s youngest years, moms are right there to nurture and to bond with the child in special ways. But somewhere in adolescence many moms begin to wonder, “Am I adequate for this task? Am I measuring up?” It’s rare for a mother to say, “I know exactly what I’m doing, and I have it all together.”
That uncertainty can lead to doubt in a mother’s mind, and when doubt creeps in, some moms will pull back from their boys rather than lean in – at the very time their boys need their mom the most.
That unique influence on their sons is what we talked about on our radio program yesterday. If you missed it, I hope you’ll take a few minutes to listen online or via our free, downloadable mobile phone app. I believe the conversation we had with Vicki can help you better understand the depth of influence you can have on your sons and give you some practical tools as you’re raising your boys to be godly men.
I’m sure that’s your heart for your sons, and we want to help your story to come full circle the way Vicki’s did.
Years later, the same son who had forged a note hoping to lie his way out of school wrote another note, this one telling Vicki how much he cherished the moments in childhood where he and his mom had conversations about examining his heart. Those memories came to mind as he was filling out an application to be a Young Life leader in college and was sharing his testimony and highlighting the turning points in his life.
That incident in school was one of the moments where he realized good decisions in life were up to him – not his mom and dad or his friends. God had provided the tools, but he couldn’t ride on everyone else’s spiritual coattails. He had to choose for himself to build his relationship with Jesus Christ.
Now he’s married and passionately loves the Lord and wants to change the world for Christ.
Hopefully, all mothers will have a moment like that where they see the fruit from their years of prayer and labor over their boys.
I hope you’ll tune in to our program and be encouraged and equipped to prepare your son for biblical manhood.