Opposing Views into Unity

Many married couples believe they struggle because they’re so different from each other. But handled well, differences can draw you together instead of drive you apart.

Like you and your spouse, my wife and I are opposites. She’s a night owl, while I’m a morning person. I wake up bubbly and excited to conquer the day, but she doesn’t. By evening, we switch roles. She’s lively and ready to talk, and I just want to crawl into bed and go to sleep. From cooking to money to parenting, we’re different in a lot of ways.

But over the years, we’ve learned how to channel our differences, so they strengthen our relationship. We help each other see blind spots. When my boys were young, Jean once told me, “Get down on one knee when you correct them.” She reminded me that I was physically imposing to my boys at their age. I’m over six feet tall, so I was scaring them even though I didn’t mean to. Jean recognized that and helped me see a better way of connecting with my boys.

If differences seem to be a problem in your marriage, consider your perspective. Your problem may not be your differences but how you handle them. Put your differences to use for your relationship. The happiest couples aren’t those who see the world exactly the same, but those who bring both views into unity.