Permission to Fail

There’s a concept motivational speakers talk about called “failing forward.” It’s all about turning your mistakes into success. One of the best ways to instill that idea into your children is to give them permission to fail.

When my son Troy turned 12, he gave Little League a try. He was nervous. So was I. He had never played baseball before while the other kids had been at it four or five years already. I wondered how long it would be after Troy took the field for his inexperience to show through. Should I allow him to face certain struggle?

Some parents hold their children back from new experiences to help them avoid mistakes. When the child then fails – as they inevitably will – they’re crushed. To ease that pressure for Troy, I gave him permission to fail. In fact, I suggested that he expect to fail and to give himself a break when it happens.

“Think of this as an opportunity to learn,” I told him. “Don’t be discouraged if you’re not as good as some of the other kids. Your coaches will help you. And the more you play, the better you’ll get.”

When children normalize imperfection and become comfortable with failure, they won’t feel embarrassed when it happens. They’ll grow from their shortcomings and do better next time. Give your children permission to fail. Within it, they’ll discover one of the most important abilities they’ll need to be successful: the courage to try.