Daly Focus Blog
Sometimes – perhaps most of the time – what keeps us from success … is us. It’s not other people and circumstances that keep us from a better career or a better marriage. It’s us. We hold ourselves back. We’re bound by mental and emotional barriers, like imaginary ropes around our ankles that convince us we can only stray so far in a new direction.
Negative thoughts are powerful enough to hold back an elephant. Literally.
Kirsten Watson’s husband, Benjamin, played for six NFL teams and won a super Bowl in 2005. Much of those 15 years, she was on her own in a new city with a household of seven children, including twins. At one point, she was so stressed she suffered painful migraines that doctors said would continue unless she made changes.
Maybe you relate to the pressure Kirsten felt. Motherhood is beautifully rewarding, but it has its challenges. According to one Barna study:
Eight in 10 moms feel overwhelmed by stress.
Jason Smith, a middle school principal in Kentucky, met his daughter for the first time when she was in the sixth grade.
Her name was Raven. She’d been sent to Jason’s office after getting angry in the cafeteria and throwing food at a fellow student. When Jason sat Raven down, he asked her, “Would you act that way at a restaurant?” Her answer surprised him. She had never eaten in a restaurant, she said, because she’d spent her entire life in the foster care system.
Is freedom the absence of rules and discipline? Or is it submitting to rules and discipline?
I believe freedom begins with submission. Let me explain it this way. I like to play golf. But it’s a hard game. The first time I grabbed a club I didn’t whack a ball 300 yards straight down the middle of the fairway. A golf swing takes years of practice to develop and a lifetime to master. And yet, it’s discipline of learning to swing a club properly that offers me freedom.
“Mayday! Mayday!”
You recognize that distress call, don’t you? Even children understand what it means. The fact that they do reveals two important ingredients to effective communication. Simplicity and clarity.
The “mayday” distress code was created in 1923 by Frederick Mockford, an airport radio officer in London, after his boss challenged him to devise a distress code that could be understood by pilots and ground staff in an emergency. Because much of the air traffic at the time was between London and Paris, Mockford proposed the expression “mayday.” It was easy to say, and it sounded like the French term for “help me.” “Mayday” communicates so well that it’s still used all over the world.
While on vacation in Italy, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott visited Michelangelo’s famous statue of King David. So did thousands of other people that day. To escape the crowds, the Parrotts explored a nearby hall called “Hall of the Prisoners.” On display were several unfinished statues that Michelangelo labelled “The Captives.” The incomplete works were emblematic of mankind’s struggle to feel integrated with God, with ourselves, and with the people around us.
Our relationships can only be as healthy as we are.
Parenting children is one of the greatest blessings a man or woman can experience.
But it has its challenges.
Parenting can be overwhelming, embarrassing, and messy, too. That’s why praying for and with your children is so important. Their fate is ultimately in God’s trusted hands. He loves them more than we can and knows better than we do what they need.
My hope for you is that you’re able to approach prayer more out of confidence than fear.
You don’t have to be married for long to know how tough sleeping together can be. And I don’t mean that kind of “sleeping together.” I mean actual sleep. Getting some shut-eye.
Who can sleep with all of that loud snoring, blanket stealing, tossing and turning, and bad breath? And don’t forget the inevitable tug-of-war between early-birds and night-owls. It’s no wonder so many of us are tired and cranky. Even the Center for Disease Control and Prevention says a large segment of the population suffers from a lack of sleep. In fact, they call it a “public health problem.”
With so many complications, why should married couples sleep in the same bed?
Isn’t it strange that in a nation nicknamed the “land of opportunity” so many of us struggle to find happiness? Maybe it’s because our society is driven by envy rather than gratitude.
Psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud explains why people controlled by envy find happiness so elusive. It’s because envious people believe they need what they don’t have. They tell themselves, “If only I had that car, or that job, or a different relationship, life would be so much better.” In reality, even after they get what they crave, nothing changes.
Forgiveness is at the heart of the Christian message.
But that doesn’t make forgiveness easy.
Forgiveness is difficult because we often confuse “forgiving” with “excusing.” Forgiveness never excuses the wrongs against us or waters down the awful nature of an offense. It doesn’t pretend that something didn’t happen. Forgiveness acknowledges the ugliness of the sin, no matter how dark, then sets us free, not the other person. Forgiveness releases our heart, heals our pain, and allows us to move forward through life in peace.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
