Daly Focus Blog
Is happiness in marriage attainable?
A lot of couples don’t think so.
Author Kevin Thompson says, “Absolutely!”
The catch is that couples can’t make happiness the goal. Happiness is the byproduct of an even greater objective. Connecting at a soul level. “And the two shall become one flesh” (Matthew 19:5).
How?
By working through challenges together.
Kevin’s grandparents were happily married for 70 years. People often suggested that they were “lucky” to achieve that success.
When my boys were growing up, my wife and I often talked to them about their goals. Trent and Troy usually focused on things like grades or what they hoped to achieve in sports. Jean and I supported those ambitions, but we also encouraged them to think outside the box, like considering what they could do to develop their character.
Which got my wife and me thinking about setting goals for our marriage. We began having conversations about our relationship in terms of themes, like forgiveness, grace, or patience.
Focus on the Family President Jim Daly writes:
Have you ever noticed that the more you have, the more you want – and that the never-ending grasp for things beyond your reach is not only making you miserable, but also hurting your relationships with the people closest to you?
That’s the conclusion of a new study, “Money Over Marriage,” that finds materialism is behind so much of the relationship tension we experience – and cheapening the very sacred institution itself.
I read an analysis of the research findings this past weekend, which dipped into some of the higher-profile cases that make headlines, such as the reported tension inside NFL’s Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen’s marriage.
There’s a storm coming. Are you ready?
When author Gary Thomas moved to Houston, he initially felt like locals over-reacted to storm warnings. Weather reports would become ominous and people seemed overly anxious about plywood, waterproofing supplies, and extra groceries. All that fuss for nothing because the storms usually proved insignificant.
Then came Hurricane Harvey in 2017, which dumped over 50 inches of rain in three days, causing catastrophic flooding, $100 billion worth of damage, and the deaths of over 100 people.
Ladies, did you enter into marriage expecting more connection, conversation, and intimacy with your husband than you’re getting? If the romance in your marriage has faded, you may even be wondering, “Did I marry the wrong man?”
My friend and colleague Dr. Juli Slattery tells the women she counsels that the secret to intimacy in marriage is not finding a hero to be your husband … but uncovering the hero that’s already there.
To call forth the hero in your husband, tap into what Dr.
Did you get married to do laundry? To pay bills? To cook dinner or wash the dishes?
No one does. And yet, many couples wind up with a marriage that becomes “ho-hum” and business-like. At some point after the joy of the wedding ceremony, life settles into a daily grind of routine activity. Careers are chased, children are born, a larger home is purchased with two new cars in the garage.
And, slowly, the romance fades.
The wear and tear of everyday life can take a toll on even the happiest couples. Which is why marriage and family counselor Dr. Randy Schroeder says seeking daily happiness is unrealistic. A better approach is to pursue consistent marital satisfaction.
How? Through good habits.
Dr. Schroeder offers “4 daily essentials” that will help create good habits in your relationship with your spouse:
“Goodbye, I love you.” Whoever leaves the house each day first should be the one to say this.
Marriages succeed or fail for many reasons. An important factor that’s often overlooked is the company we keep.
Like every newlywed, Pam discovered just a short time into her marriage that she and her husband didn’t agree on everything. In particular, their expectations for how he would help around the house were different.
Hoping for a little support, Pam shared her concerns with a female co-worker. The woman responded with a few complaints of her own about her no-good husband.
You may recall that earlier this summer the United States House of Representatives passed the deceptively named “Respect for Marriage Act.” All Democrat Representatives voted in favor of it, along with 47 Republicans.
We’re now hearing that a vote in the Senate could come early next week.
H.R. 8404, requires states to recognize same-sex marriages from other states and seeks to codify it into federal law, which goes beyond the “right” to same-sex marriage invented by the Supreme Court in a 5-4 decision in 2015.
This Act is an assault on religious freedom and free speech.
Ladies, if you’re about to be married, let me offer you a word of caution: when you marry your prince, you also inherit the king, the queen, and the whole court! (And you often get a court jester thrown in as well!) And remember this, a good relationship with your in-laws is key for creating a marriage that thrives.
But that’s easier said than done. According to a study out of Cambridge University, 60% of women say in-law conflict has caused long-term stress.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
