Have you ever heard marriage advice that seemed too philosophical or theoretical?
Deeper understandings about the mysterious union of a man and woman can certainly be helpful. But every once in a while it’s great to hear something practical, like, “Tonight, go home and try this.”
On today’s and tomorrow’s broadcast, “Uncovering the Secrets to a Happy Marriage,” that’s exactly what we’ll do. Take, for example, this idea from our guest, Shaunti Feldhahn: Keep score.
For most of you, I’m guessing the notion of “keeping score” to improve your marriage sounds counter-intuitive. After all, if you’re used to the world of sports, you know a scoreboard has one purpose: to declare somebody a winner. And it’s hard to build a successful marriage if you’re battling against your spouse to “win” an argument.
That’s what makes Shaunti’s idea of “keeping score” so interesting. She isn’t referring to winning and losing at all. And she’s not encouraging couples to hold their spouse’s mistakes against them, either. Grudges only intensify conflict and wreak havoc in a marriage.
Instead, she says husbands and wives are happiest when they keep score of the good things their spouse does. The logic is simple. If you’re looking for positive behavior in your partner, you’ll probably find it. Seeing the best in your spouse will instill kindness in your marriage and prevent petty disagreements from escalating. And when there is a disagreement, couples who keep score won’t fight against each other. They’ll come together to solve their problems as a team.
See what I mean?
Keeping score is a simple concept couples can put into place immediately. And that’s just one of the practical ideas you’ll hear on today’s and tomorrow’s program, “The Secrets to a Happy Marriage.” I hope you’ll join us on your local radio station, online or via our free, downloadable mobile phone app. I think you’ll be inspired to make a positive difference in your relationship and feel equipped to do so.