Sometimes you find good relationship advice in the strangest places – like an online review for a film.
Time magazine recently highlighted “112 Weddings,” a documentary by filmmaker and wedding videographer David Block. In it, he follows up on about a dozen of those couples whose weddings he has filmed over the years to see how those marriages fared.
The review includes Block’s best advice on marriage. His take?
“Pick wisely.” He also advises husbands and wives to stay flexible and accept imperfections.
The best part of his advice, however, is where he debunks the Hollywood-fueled notion of the “soul mate.”
Good for movies, but not good for love
The idea that there’s this sole mythical person out there you’re meant to be with makes for an entertaining film, but it will thwart lifelong love. It’s a simple fact that too many people nowadays miss.
“A lot of marriage is coming to terms with who is this imperfect person you’re living with, and acknowledging that you’re not exactly a perfect person either,” says Block.
So when you’re annoyed with your husband, or upset with your wife, don’t look for a way out. Rather, realize no one “clicks” with another effortlessly. We’re all sinful beings prone to selfish impulses – and that’s why marriage can be so challenging at times. It takes hard work to love our spouses through the good and the ugly. It takes commitment to turn to the Holy Spirit so He can change the ugly in our character.
Only when we go through that tough process can we find the intimacy and unity that’s conveyed with the term “soul mate.”
That’s why soul mates aren’t found – they are made in Christ. It takes dying to self, loving sacrificially and constantly prioritizing the other person.
Resources to help your marriage
If you want help being that right person and investing in your marriage, visit our wide variety of free online resources at https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage.aspx.
If you have been wishing your spouse were someone different instead of doing something to enhance your marriage, allow me to recommend today’s broadcast, “Charting a New Course for Your Marriage and Family.” You can listen to it online.
Finally, watch for my latest book, co-written with my wife, Jean: “The Best Year of Your Marriage” is due out next week.