I’ve got a simple idea for improving your marriage, but it takes some courage: Ask your spouse to share two things you do in your marriage that he or she likes … and two things you can do to make your marriage better.
The first part – hearing what you do well – is easy. We all love pats on the back and being told the ways we shine. It’s the second part – what you can do better – that’ll take some courage to hear. But I hope you’ll take the risk. I did.
I once asked my wife if there was something that I could do better in our relationship. I expected her to take some time to think about it. Instead, she had an immediate answer for me. “I can think of two things,” she said. Such a quick response was tough to hear, just like constructive feedback might be tough for you to hear, too.
That’s why marriage is for grown-ups. Strong relationships don’t happen by accident. They’re built by mature husbands and wives who can hear positive feedback without getting defensive or lashing out. Most of the suggestions your spouse makes will probably be improvements you ought to want for yourself anyway. If you’re growing as a person, you’ll grow in your marriage.
Two things you do well, and two things you can improve. Filling in those blanks takes some courage, but if you’ll take those ideas to heart, your marriage can go from good to great.
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