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How to Understand the Language Your Spouse Is Speaking

Happy couple gardening together

Don’t you love to hear your spouse lean over and whisper in your ear, “Nakupenda na wanataka kutumia muda zaidi na wewe”?

Unless you speak fluent Swahili, you wouldn’t recognize your spouse’s “sweet nothings” as, “I love you and want to spend more time with you.”

I’m guessing Swahili isn’t what’s complicating your marriage, but it illustrates why so many husbands and wives feel misunderstood by one another.  They are – in essence – speaking different languages.

That barrier isn’t limited only to words. Men and women often see, hear, and emotionally react to love and intimacy in remarkably different terms.

It can be tough on a marriage when a couple’s differences are wired into their personalities. But the more you understand God’s design for intimacy the more each of your unique views of life can become points of connection instead.

A great gift you can give your marriage is to recognize that the ways you and your spouse communicate are neither right nor wrong, they’re just different.

Marriage expert Dr. Emerson Eggerichs says it’s like all the women are wearing pink sunglasses and earplugs, and all the men are wearing blue sunglasses and ear plugs. Each spouse experiences their relationship and expresses love through their own unique filters.

Most wives long to feel richly and deeply loved. They need love like they need air to breathe. It’s like their air hose is connected to a tank filled with love. Husbands have an equally important need. Their air hose is attached to a tank filled with respect. The trouble is, husbands and wives tend to stand on each other’s air hose.

That’s a problem we hope to equip you to solve on two broadcasts we’re airing with Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Today, we’re hearing the second part of a talk he gave to a women’s conference. I think his message is one of the best I’ve heard about creating great communication in marriage. He gets his concepts straight from the Bible and supports them with sound research.

Dr. Eggerichs will explain how couples can work together to help the woman’s pink and the man’s blue to come together as purple, the color of royalty, the color of God.

I hope you’ll join us today on your local radio station for part two of “Respect: A Marriage Essential.” But don’t worry if you missed the show’s first half. You can always hear it online or on our free phone app available for download.

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Topics: Family and Home October 13, 2016 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

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Jim-Daly President of Focus on the Family
Jim Daly
with Paul Batura

Posts by Jim

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Daly Focus

Jim-Daly Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.

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