Wives, Do You Speak “Male”?

Picture two people.

One speaks Chinese. The other speaks English. Let’s say their relationship makes it imperative that they communicate effectively. What do you suppose would be the best way for them to do that?

Not only do they speak different languages, their entire view of the world may differ radically from one another. Short of having a translator at the standby every waking moment, one of the two is going to have to learn the other’s language.

Enter marriage.

Ladies, based on the dynamics set forth in that illustration it might be reasonable to think you and your husband would communicate with one another quite easily. After all, you both speak the same language, right?

Well, on behalf of married men everywhere, let me answer that. No, we don’t.

We guys speak “male.”

No doubt certain parts of your husband’s “maleness” seem like a foreign language to you. If you’ve ever felt like he’s wired differently than you, it’s because he is. We guys have a way of thinking all our own.

I mean that quite literally. Crucial differences between men and women are found in the way our brains are wired. Research shows women have about 10 times more white matter than men. That’s the connective tissue attaching different parts of the brain together and allowing them to communicate. It’s why most women can juggle three tasks at once all while holding down a conversation.

Men, on the other hand, have more grey matter. That means less connections and, therefore, less communication between different parts of the brain. It’s why we tend to compartmentalize our thoughts and our emotions and often seem so narrowly focused on only one thing at a time.

Ladies, if you could use a little help understanding how your husband thinks and why he acts the way he does, I think the radio program we aired yesterday can help. We had a great conversation with Mike Bechtle. He’s a speaker and the author of “I Wish He Had Come with Instructions: A Woman’s Guide to a Man’s Brain.”

He’ll help you learn how to speak “male.”

Of course, your husband faces a similar responsibility to learn to speak your language, too. But for this program we’re giving wives something of an insider’s view into how men think and act. Your husband’s “maleness” isn’t going to change, so why not learn his language?

Tune in for “Understanding How Your Husband Thinks and Acts” online or download our free phone app. And don’t forget to check our online bookstore if you’d like to see all of the other helpful resources available from Focus on the Family.