Daly Focus Blog
Ladies, if you’re about to be married, let me offer you a word of caution: when you marry your prince, you also inherit the king, the queen, and the whole court! (And you often get a court jester thrown in as well!) And remember this, a good relationship with your in-laws is key for creating a marriage that thrives.
But that’s easier said than done. According to a study out of Cambridge University, 60% of women say in-law conflict has caused long-term stress.
The only thing worse than couples rushing into divorce are couples who rush into a second marriage.
First marriages are challenging. Second marriages are even harder, especially when you’re blending a family. Different expectations, conflict management, and learning how to communicate effectively are things every married couple must navigate. But stepfamilies face a different level of complexity.
When couples enter into second marriages, they often focus exclusively on their love for each other and their new lives together to the exclusion of the family unit as a whole.
Every guy knows what to do with a hole in the wall. You patch it, right? But what do you do with a hole that’s a dad-shaped wound in your soul?
When I was eleven, I moved back in with my dad. It had been six years since his arrest for threatening to kill my mom in a drunken rage. “Maybe he’s changed,” I hoped. But he hadn’t. His drinking was as bad as ever, and when he became suicidal, I bailed out.
One of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had is with a physician friend of mine whose son had just taken his life. I know how hard it can be to live through a tragedy like that. After my wife’s brother died by suicide, the family suffered tremendous guilt because they hadn’t recognized the signs that he was in trouble.
Suicide is a growing problem among young people. Approximately 30 million people between the ages of 18 and 24 are at an elevated risk of self-harm.
Before Kyle Poulson’s adoptive mother passed away in 2016, she encouraged him to find his birth mother. He began that process in February of 2017 but because his adoption records were closed, Kyle ran into dead end after dead end. He thought he might never find his birth mother.
Nina Hendee, his birth mother, believed the same thing about Kyle decades earlier. She was 16 years old in 1971 when she became pregnant. Reared in a strong Christian family, her parents encouraged her “not to cover a mistake with a tragedy” by having an abortion.
What does it mean for a man to follow the biblical admonition to nurture and cherish his wife, despite differences in the relationship?
Maybe you can relate to this exchange between author and speaker, Dan Seaborn, and his wife Jane:
Jane: I like hot tea.Dan:I like sweetened iced tea.
Jane:I don’t like to be sweaty.Dan: I love to sweat.
Jane: Yellow lights mean stop.Dan: Yellow lights mean floor it, baby!
Jane: He drives way too fast.Dan: She drives way too slowly.
When married couples decide to divorce, they often defend their decision by saying, “The children will be fine. Kids are resilient.”
The truth is losing a parent to divorce can be more difficult for a child to overcome than losing a parent to death. When a parent dies, family, friends, and the broader community surround children with love and support. But when parents divorce, people avoid talking about it, which leaves children to recover on their own.
In recent years, voices within the culture have argued that men and women are identical. One toy company decided to capitalize on that idea by designing a doll house that could be used by either gender. The company didn’t expect the results they got. In tests, girls acted like girls, and the boys acted like boys. The girls had tea parties, pretend marriages, and kids playing in the yard. The boys created war scenes or drove the baby carriage off the roof in a fiery crash.
Imagine you’re sailing on the open sea. You’re out on the deck soaking up the sun, listening to the waves, and enjoying the ocean breeze. Everything around you is peaceful and wonderfully tranquil.
Suddenly, without warning, your peace is shattered by chaos. Your ship comes under attack by pirates.
Moms often feel like a similar scenario happens to them every day. They begin each morning with an expectation for how to make their day go peacefully.
Treasure hunter Jennifer Docker has recovered a lot of expensive artifacts over the years. But the most valuable thing she’s found wasn’t worth a dime.
Jennifer was diving at the bottom of a river scouring for treasure when she found a bottle buried in mud. The cork had partially rotted away, but inside, still mostly intact, was a handwritten message. Back on the boat, Jennifer retrieved the note and unrolled it. It was dated November 1926 and read: “Will the person who finds this bottle return the paper to George Morrow in Cheboygan, Michigan and tell him where it was found?”
Jennifer posted a photo of her discovery on social media.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
