Daly Focus Blog
Jack Canfield, the co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, says comparing yourself to other people is a “fast track to unhappiness.” Comparison distorts our vision. One moment, we see all that we have – the next, we see all that we wish we had.
When our focus is directed outward, we think everybody else has more money, better homes, and nicer cars. We think they’re smarter, more talented, and better looking – or they have happier marriages and better-adjusted children.
When Jean and I were dating, I made a big mistake. I served her tea.
That may not sound like such a big deal to you, but I was wooing this girl. I wanted to marry her. On this particular occasion, however, everything nearly fell apart. I went all out. I packed a full picnic lunch, complete with a basket full of food, a blanket to sit on, and iced tea. I thought everything was perfect.
And it would have been, except she doesn’t like iced tea.
When my boys learned how to drive, I don’t mind saying I was nervous about it. I knew they’d do fine, but my wife, Jean and I talked through our expectations before we ever handed over a set of keys. From one parent to another, here are a few things that might make sense to you, too.
Teens usually think their driver’s license is all the permission they need to hit the road. But driving ought to be a privilege they earn instead of an absolute right.
Who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned roller coaster?
Richard Rodriguez probably. He holds the world record for riding a roller coaster for an astonishing 112 days. Everybody who’s attempted that record will tell you it’s an achievement of endurance, not enjoyment. A roller coaster’s wild dips and corkscrews – designed to create excitement – all lose their thrill when you’re subjected to them over and over and over again.
An endless roller coaster ride isn’t much fun when it’s a marriage, either.
“Governing in a representative democracy is always challenging, and especially in a deeply divided nation. I extend my congratulations to Mike Johnson on his re-election as Speaker of the House of Representatives. As Christians, we’re called to pray for all our leaders (Romans 13:1-2). Strong leadership will provide America with our best opportunity to live “peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness” (1 Tim. 2:2). Please join me in lifting up Speaker Johnson, his family, and all the members of the newly minted 119th Congress.”
– Jim Daly, president, Focus on the Family
My advice to married couples is this: pursue romance every chance you get. Take sunset walks on the beach. Eat dinner by candlelight. Kiss in the rain. Enjoy beautiful moments together that lift your relationship beyond itself.
Authors Jay and Laura Laffoon encourage couples to try new things as often as possible. New experiences allow couples to grow as individuals and together. Even small things like trying a new restaurant create little adventures that draw a couple together.
There’s a concept motivational speakers talk about called “failing forward.” It’s all about turning your mistakes into success. One of the best ways to instill that idea into your children is to give them permission to fail.
When my son Troy turned 12, he gave Little League a try. He was nervous. So was I. He had never played baseball before while the other kids had been at it four or five years already. I wondered how long it would be after Troy took the field for his inexperience to show through.
Karen Kain – one of the most respected ballet dancers in the world – once said, “Sometimes a dancer’s worst enemy is themselves. They get in their own way.”
The art of dance is the art of movement. It’s about gracefully moving in concert with the music and with your partner. Every step forward is a risk. Your partner could step on your toes. Or you could step on theirs. The solution is not to focus on your partner’s steps but on your own.
The late Steve Farrar believed Psalm 23 was the most dangerous Psalm in the Bible – dangerous because we know it so well that it loses its deep meaning and significance. The Psalm is only six verses long, but each one is potent and pregnant with meaning.
David, who wrote Psalm 23, was a shepherd as a youth and could have written from the perspective of the shepherd. Instead, he wrote it from the perspective of the sheep.
In order to stand at a wedding altar and say, “I do” with confidence, couples must first understand who they are as individuals. Only a person with a healthy sense of “I” can give to the marriage as much as he or she receives.
A thriving marriage doesn’t erase individuality. It celebrates it. It puts one’s individuality to work in service of the relationship, molding two people into one while encouraging each person’s individual flames to burn bright.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
