Confronting Others with Grace

Racism is an ugly stain on our nation’s history. And, sadly, a very present reality. On the first part of our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Facing Confrontation with Grace,” I’m speaking with Tim Scott, United States Senator for South Carolina about his perspective on racial tension in America and how we find solutions.

On the second part of the program, we’re sharing a conversation with author Deborah Pegues discussing biblical ways of handling confrontation. Deborah was once vice president of MCA Universal Studios, who headed up the venture capital division that was responsible for starting new companies. It was a high-risk, high stress business. Her role frequently required her to confront people.

You might even say she got good at it.

Deborah says most people try to avoid confrontation because it’s hard, and it doesn’t feel good. Christians even appeal to the Bible to justify their passivity. But Matthew 5:9 says, “Blessed are the peacemakers,” not “blessed are the peacekeepers.”

Confrontation doesn’t have to be scary if you look at it as the act of coming together with someone face to face to resolve a problem and to achieve unity.

One of Deborah’s strategies is called the sandwich method. That means she addresses an issue by first softening the blow (the bread) before delving into the problem (the meat). She then finishes with dialogue that softens the interaction (more bread). She outlines this fully in our conversation.

She also describes four styles of confrontation:

The Dictator
The Abdicator
The Collaborator
The Accommodator

And, finally, she explains confrontation strategies, such as:

Knowing the purpose of the confrontation
Owning the problem
Speaking the right words
Listening
Negotiating
Forgiveness

Join us for “Facing Confrontation with Grace” on your local radio station, online, on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or on our free phone app. With Deborah’s flair and humor, you’ll learn solid confrontation strategies and gain confidence when it comes to facing others.

Our broadcast is chockful of information. So is Deborah’s book, Confronting without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict. It’s full of straightforward and real-world advice to help you embrace necessary confrontation in a positive manner that will bring about good things. We’d like to send it to you today when you donate to Focus on the Family for a gift of any amount. Check our website for details.