Why did you get married?
For your spouse?
Or for yourself?
Be honest. You got married because the relationship made you happy.
Don’t feel too guilty. The rest of us probably did the same thing. We thought life with this person would make our lives better. And while that’s not entirely selfish – God wants us to enjoy our marriage to our spouse, after all – many couples spend their first years of marriage chasing individual interests. A few frustrating years later they ask themselves, “Where did our marriage go wrong?”
If that sounds like you, I’ve got good news: Good marriages aren’t found. They’re made.
Author Gary Thomas says his marriage began improving the moment he understood that God had created him, knew him, adored him, and redeemed him. As much as his wife loved him, she could never fill the empty spots in his soul.
Gary says, “My greatest need from my wife isn’t to be loved, any more than somebody who’s just pushed back from a Thanksgiving table has a great need to be fed. Love is a legitimate need, but because love’s deepest expression is already met through Christ, I don’t have to place unwarranted burdens on my spouse.”
How does marriage turn our selfishness into selflessness? We’ve got answers on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Drawing Closer to God and Each Other.” Gary Thomas is with us to share how to create the marriage you’ve always wanted by creating oneness with your spouse.
Before I close, I’d like to extend an invitation for you to become a special partner with us through our monthly “Friends of Focus on the Family” program. When you do, I’ll send you a copy of Gary Chapman’s book A Lifelong Love: What If Marriage Is About More Than Just Staying Together? as a way of saying thank you for touching others with the love of Christ. You’ll also receive member-exclusive benefits. To make your pledge, or for more information, click here or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).