Establishing Clear Boundaries in Your Life

Driving is a great illustration for life.

First, what makes driving safe? That line painted down the middle of the road. It’s a boundary that tells you what lane is yours and what lane is mine.

Second, in driving and in life, we encounter people and circumstances wherever we go that force us to respond quickly and make good decisions that protect our family and ourselves.

And third, to get to where we want to go, we have to be in the correct lane.

Kevin Thompson, a pastor at Bayside Church in Roseville, California, says, “When we don’t stay in our lane, we focus on a future we can’t control or on a past we can’t undo, and we lose sight of the present. We spin our wheels, but we don’t move forward.”

Kevin joined me on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Establishing Clear Boundaries in Your Life,” to share how to approach difficult situations while protecting important relationships. He identifies three lanes for us to navigate within:

Lane 1: What’s Mine?
“What’s mine in marriage?” You can’t control your spouse, but you can control yourself.
“What’s mine at work?” Examine your job description. Define success. Spend your time doing things that move your career forward.
“What’s mine in parenting?” Model intentional living for your kids. Don’t control; influence.
Lane 2: What’s Theirs?
Other people’s feelings, choices, and consequences belong to them. Honor other people’s sense of self. Their life is not your life.
Lane 3: What’s God’s?
When we leave God’s stuff to Him, we are free to love others and to respond to challenges with trust and gratitude.

Listen to my full conversation with Kevin Thompson on your local radio station, online, on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, via Google Podcasts, or take us with you on our free phone app.

Before I close, I’d like to extend an invitation for you to become a special partner with us through our monthly “Friends of Focus on the Family” program. When you do, I’ll send you a copy of Kevin A. Thompson’s book Stay in Your Lane: Worry Less, Love More, and Get Things Done as a way of saying thank you for touching others with the love of Christ. You’ll also receive member-exclusive benefits. To make your pledge, or for more information, click here or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).