Friendship or Flirtation? Danger Signs for Couples

Marriages everywhere are at risk because of one of the most powerful drugs known to man: infatuation.

You may not consider infatuation a drug, but author and psychologist Dave Carder, who has spent 30 years studying the causes of infidelity, says infatuation is as powerful as any substance out there.

Infatuated people do crazy things. They make irrational decisions and ignore how their choices impact everyone else. They behave like they’re under the influence of a mind-altering substance – because they are.

Dave says, “When someone walks away from their family for an affair, people ask, ‘What were they thinking?’ They weren’t thinking. They’re drunk with emotion.”

Infatuation is so dangerous because it evolves naturally out of everyday relationships with co-workers, neighbors, and family friends. People don’t choose out of the blue to ruin their marriage with an affair. They cross one boundary, then another, and another without recognizing that they’re drifting into dangerous emotional territory.

To protect ourselves, it’s important to keep on the lookout for danger signs that our emotions are drifting. The indicators are subtle, but they’re important. So much so, that Dave offers this stern warning: once infatuation has taken hold, you won’t be able to resist! If you become infatuated with someone else, you’ll lose all sense of reason and almost nothing will prevent you from having an affair.

What are the danger signs? And how can we protect ourselves and our marriages?

Dave Carder is our guest on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Friendship or Flirtation? Danger Signs for Couples.” He’s sharing how to maintain healthy boundaries that will keep your emotions and your relationships in check.

Listen on your local radio station, online, on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or take us with you on our free phone app.

What you hear just might save your marriage and your family.

Dave Carder’s book Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them is available through our ministry for a gift of any amount. Visit our website for more information.