Grieving the Loss of a Beloved Family Member

Grief is an unavoidable part of the human experience. The emotions associated with it are powerful, often overwhelming. It touches every family – including mine.

My sister-in-law Jane’s son, Bobby, was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s disease when he was 17. At29, he was healthy and active, his business was thriving, and he and his wife were purchasing their first home when Bobby started feeling pressure in his chest. X-rays and MRIs found nothing. Exploratory surgery revealed that Bobby had a rare and inoperable form of cancer. He died one year later.

My colleague Geremy Keeton, a marriage and family therapist who heads up our counseling team here at Focus on the Family, lost his father, Gary, at age 69 to suicide after a long battle with dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

The question we all face is: how should we grieve when we lose someone we love?

Jane and Geremy are joining me on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly to share five practical steps for moving through the grief process:

1. To have your pain witnessed through connection and community.

2. To express emotion by telling your story to safe people.

3. To be free of old wounds by releasing guilt and walking through “what ifs.”

4. To integrate pain and loss into your life story.

5. To find meaning after loss.

The Bible reminds us that Jesus understands our grief because He experienced it Himself. Isaiah 53:4 says, “Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.”

One of my favorite verses, Psalm 34:18, says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirt.”

Because of Jesus, we are never alone. Grief is about finding closure by finding connection. It can be transformative by helping you honor those you’ve lost.

Hear my full conversation with Jane and Geremy on your local radio station, online, on Apple Podcasts, or on our free phone app.

If you’re struggling and would like to speak with a counselor, call Focus on the Family for a free consultation. Leave your name and number, and they’ll get back with you as soon as possible. The number during business hours is 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).

Jane Daly’s book Hole in My Family Portrait is available for a gift of any amount. For more information, click here or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).